My foster baby went to his forever home

These tiny little feet belong to our second foster baby.

He was just eight weeks old when he was placed in our care in the summer of 2019 and we took these photos a couple of months ago when we knew he would be moving on from us soon.

I went to pick him up from a mother and baby home – it was an emotional day for all involved. His mummy loved him very much but just wasn’t in the right position at that time in her life to care for him.

I drove away with a car full of baby things and a tear in my eye. We welcomed him into our family of four and for the last nine months we have been a family of five.

My own children were adopted as babies so fully understand the important role foster care plays in children’s lives. They are now 13 and 15 and take on loving and caring for these babies with their whole heart and soul.

I call my daughter mini mummy as each day when she gets home from school she loves to play, read books and bathe our little ones, making them smile and giggle and showing them unconditional love.

We decided to become foster carers just over two years ago following our own journey to parenthood, which was a long and painful road of IVF treatment but ended with the amazing adoption of my own two children.

Our son, now 15, was nine months old when we adopted him, and our daughter followed a couple of years later, aged 11 months. Their foster carers have been an inspiration to me, and I knew one day we wanted to open our heart and family and give loved and support to these babies, just as our own children had at the start of their lives.

This special job has filled our home with lots of cuddles, smiles and a few sleepless nights. We got our first baby, who was a newborn, in October 2018. He stayed with us for seven months before he was able to return home to his family.

He is now 18 months old and doing really well and I love getting updates and photos from his family, whom we built a great bond with whilst their baby was in our care – this is also a fundamental role of a foster carer as most babies have contact with their birth families up to three times per week.

The plan for our second baby was adoption and a lovely couple had been identified and we had met them. A plan for introductions was arranged, this is where the new parents come to your home for seven to 10 days to get to know the baby, learn the baby’s routine and slowly take over his care from you.

This time is an emotional time for all involved. As foster carers we are losing a big part of our life and this is hard for us and our own children, but we all know how amazing this is for the new adoptive parents and the right thing for the baby to move to their forever home as soon as possible.

The plan was for our foster baby to move at the end of March, which worked out well for us as a family as it meant when he went we would just be starting the Easter holidays and we planned to spend some time away, to regroup as a family of four and get over the loss of our happy little man.

Then the world was turned on its head with coronavirus. But in the world of adoption, the show must go on, as they say. So, introductions started on 23 March, which was also the day the prime minister announced a lockdown!

What a crazy, emotional week that was. The introductions where reduced to five long days with the adoptive couple coming and going to see baby daily. This was very worrying for us with the risk of the spread of coronavirus, but we had to put that to one side and do the amazing job we were trained to do.

Baby went home on Friday 27 March and this was the most joyful day for the adoptive family and one of the hardest days I’ve had in my life so far. Emotions were high, due to the world situation, but as key workers we did the best we could under the most challenging circumstances. Since then we have FaceTimed him and he’s settled really well and we have caught up on our sleep.

Who knows when we will get our next foster child, but whenever it happens, we’ll be ready and can’t wait to welcome them into our family.

Mandy and her husband also run Chetham Farm Retreat, which specialises in offering short breaks for adoptive and foster families.

My Life Through A Lens

My Life Through a Lens is a new and exciting series on Metro.co.uk that looks at one incredible photo, and shares the story that lies behind it. If you have an experience you would like to share, please email [email protected] with MLTAL as the subject.

Main image taken by Jo Bishop Wills

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