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Ashley Tisdale and Christopher French welcomed their daughter Jupiter in March of last year. Ashley is pretty open about topics that Hollywood starlets don’t usually talk about. Motherhood has been no exception, she’s addressed her struggles with breastfeeding, not accepting her pregnant or postpartum body and how long it takes to heal post birth. While on the Skinny But Not Fat podcast, Ashely addressed another topic not commonly circulated: what a baby does to a relationship. Ashley said that she was unprepared for the changes it created in her marriage, like fighting and trying to see eye to eye on baby issues.
Ashley Tisdale has come a long way since her High School Musical days.
The actress and mental health advocate, 37, got brutally honest about the nuances of motherhood since giving birth to 1-year-old daughter Jupiter — including how it’s changed the relationship with her husband Christopher French, whom she married in 2014.“I mean, it’s a rollercoaster of a ride. No one prepares you for it,” Tisdale said on the Not Skinny But Not Fat. “I love how none of my friends who had kids told me about this. It’s like a secret.”
“Everyone prepares you for the baby and no one prepares you for what your relationship is gonna go through, and so, it’s just wild,” she continued. “But Chris is like the most patient man. We never really fought [before having Jupiter], and so, we do fight now because it’s like you have a third little person and … you have your way, they have their way, and you’re trying to like, you know, come together as a team. So it definitely changes things.”
Having a child also forced her to evolve as a person in ways she didn’t expect.
“I didn’t even know who I was at that point. I was like, I know I’m not who I used to be because I have this little baby now,” she said, noting that experience made her feel “like a shell of a person.”
“It’s almost like you can never go back to who you once were, which is amazing, and different, but it’s like, trying to get comfortable with that — and your body — again,” she added.
[From Yahoo!]
I am fascinated by this topic, or by the fact that Ashley is throwing it out there. I’ll start by saying that I think it’s a crucial discussion because yes, so much changes when a baby is introduced into a relationship. Teamwork is key, but it’s also elusive in those early days when everything stresses you out and sleep is a distant memory. Usually, parents are forced to figure out solutions in the thick of a meltdown or some other highly-charged moment. No one’s having a thoughtful discussion on parental philosophies at that time. You just want to know where the child’s g-d comfort toy is and why can’t your stupid partner find it quicker?! Feelings get hurt – fast. A lot of it has to do with parents figuring things out about themselves, too, like Ashley said. So yes, relationships rely a little bit more on the post-squabble recovery period and talks during the early years. A former editor of mine told me that she was convinced raising kids is what drove her and her first husband to divorce.
On the flip side, Ashley and Christopher were married for seven years before they had a child. That was by choice, not fertility issues. I’m not commenting on their decision, I loved Ashley’s defense of waiting to have a baby. But I think a couple, especially a rich, famous couple, can get very used to a certain existence after seven childless years together. So it doesn’t surprise me a new little human dropped a grenade in their beautifully predictable lifestyle. That’s what kids do. Although I didn’t feel like, “no one prepares you for what your relationship is gonna go through.” I think anyone who has friends with babies heard what their relationship went through, even if they didn’t point a finger at the baby as the culprit. Maybe Ashley thought she and Christopher were impervious, especially if they never fought prior to Jupiter’s arrival. They’ll be fine. If Christopher is patient and Ashley recognizes things naturally evolve, they’ll figure it out.
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