Deborah James says her children 'will be okay' when she dies
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Deborah James, 40, announced on Monday that she was at the end of her cancer fight as she was being moved to at home hospice care for the last part of her life. The You, Me And The Big C host has said she has given her husband, Sebastien Bowen her “blessing” to move on, however, she has “strict” rules for him to follow when it comes to finding love again.
I want him to move on.
Deborah James
The couple share two children with Sebastien, Hugo, 14, and Eloise, 12.
Deborah opened up about the support she has received from her “incredible” husband and the impact this journey has had on him.
She said: “I don’t think I have ever seen my husband so emotional; but now he has suddenly realised the enormity of this.”
As she reaches the final stage of her life, Deborah has revealed that she has given Sebastien “strict instructions” about dating after she dies.
Stating her rules, she said: “I have given him strict instructions: I want him to move on.
“He’s a handsome man. I’m, like, ‘Don’t be taken for a ride, don’t marry a bimbo, find someone else who can make you laugh like we did'”, she said to The Times.
Deborah has described Sebatien as her “rock” throughout her health ordeal and the influence he has had in getting her through.
She was diagnosed with stage four bowel cancer in 2016 and has since had 17 tumours removed and countless other surgeries.
After she was rushed to hospital earlier in the year, Deborah told how she joked with her husband about her near death experience.
Talking about the experience, she said: “When I had my bleeding, my family thought I wouldn’t be alive in the morning and I lay awake all night with Seb next to me.
She revealed that she made her “deathbed confessions” to her husband, telling all she had and hadn’t done.
They both found it hilarious as they had been together for what felt like “forever”.
Deborah made the announcement on Monday that her “body simply isn’t playing ball” and was being moved to hospice care.
Deborah wrote on social media: “The message I never wanted to write. We have tried everything, but my body simply isn’t playing ball.
“My active care has stopped and I am now moved to hospice at home care, with my incredible family all around me and the focus is on making sure I’m not in pain and spending time with them.
“Nobody knows how long I’ve got left but I’m not able to walk, I’m sleeping most of the days, and most things I took for granted are pipe dreams.
She continued: “I know we have left no stone unturned. But even with all the innovative cancer drugs in the world or some magic new breakthrough, my body just can’t continue anymore.
“In over 5 years of writing about how I thought it would be my final Christmas, how I wouldn’t see my 40th birthday nor see my kids go to secondary school – I never envisaged writing the one where I would actually say goodbye. I think it’s been the rebellious hope in me.
“But I don’t think anyone can say the last 6 months has been exactly kind! It’s all heartbreaking to be going through but I’m surrounded by so much love that if anything can help me through I hope that will.”
You can contribute to Deborah’s fundraising page for Cancer Research UK here.
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