“If the economy collapses, he could just find a never-ending supply of quarters behind your ear,” Desi Lydic joked on the “Daily Show” on Tuesday.
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By Trish Bendix
Welcome to Best of Late Night, a rundown of the previous night’s highlights that lets you sleep — and lets us get paid to watch comedy. Here are the 50 best movies on Netflix right now.
Gives New Meaning to ‘Eighty-Sixed’
On Tuesday, President Biden announced he will run for re-election, and late night responded with some bristling about his age.
“The Daily Show” guest host Desi Lydic joked that he wasn’t exactly “running” — he was more accurately “stair lifting for re-election.”
“If Joe Biden does win, he would be 86 years old when he reaches the end of his second term, hopefully, which is one reason why 70 percent of Americans don’t think he should run again. And to be fair, 86 is old — not just for president, but for any job. If my Lyft driver rolled up and was 86 years old, I’d be like, ‘Do you need help getting home?’” — DESI LYDIC
“But I don’t know, maybe it would be good to have an old man president. If the economy collapses, he could just find a never-ending supply of quarters behind your ear.” — DESI LYDIC
“His face could be on money while he is still in office.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“Yep, Biden will be the oldest person to ever run for president. So, in two years, he’ll either be leader of the free world or a greeter at Walmart.” — JIMMY FALLON
The Punchiest Punchlines (‘Finish the Job’ Edition)
“Biden’s campaign slogan is ‘Finish the job.’ Finish the job. Americans said they’d be happy if he could just finish a story.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“President Biden announced today that he will run for a second term and said, ‘Let’s finish the job.’ Yeah, good idea. It would be nice to have a country where a guy could safely retire before he’s 86.” — SETH MEYERS
“‘Finish the job’ — it sounds like something your fighter yells in a knockoff version of ‘Mortal Kombat.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“According to polls, most Democrats don’t want Biden to run again. Then Biden said, ‘Hey, none of you wanted ‘Avatar 2’ either, but look how that turned out.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“Can you imagine if it’s Biden versus Trump again? That’s like going into a diner, and the only things on the menu are 2-day-old egg salad and Donald Trump. I guess I’ll take my chances with the egg salad.” — SETH MEYERS
The Bits Worth Watching
The actor Natalie Portman recreated iconic roles from her career alongside the host James Corden in his final installment of “Role Call” on “The Late Late Show.”
What We’re Excited About on Wednesday Night
The author Judy Blume will talk about the long-awaited film adaptation of her best-selling novel “Are You There, God? It’s Me, Margaret” on Wednesday’s “Tonight Show.”
Also, Check This Out
More than ever, women are running major museums like the Louvre, the Vatican Museums and the National Gallery of Art.
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