VERITY James' wedding day will always be a bittersweet memory for her.
As the mum-of-two, 32, tied the knot to her long-term partner Matt, her mum lay in a coma fighting cancer.
Verity's mum Alison was diagnosed with an aggressive brain tumour known as a glioblastoma – which took her life her just four days after her daughter's big day.
Verity, from Fareham, Hampshire, is now sharing her story to raise awareness for the deadly condition, as well as for the hospice that cared for her mum.
Mum to Angus, 4, and Heidi, 3, Verity told The Sun Online: "The wedding speeches were very emotional.
"And Dad left after our first dance to go to be with Mum.
"It wasn’t the happy day it should have been – but we made the best of it."
Verity first realised there was something wrong with her mum in 2012 when she started complaining of severe headaches.
"In 2012, I was engaged to Matt and working with my mum Alison in an office at a college," she said.
"Not every mum and daughter could work together.
"But we were very close and as colleagues, we also got along well.
"Towards the end of that year, Mum started complaining of severe headaches.
"She’d come home from work and sleep for hours before feeling well enough to get up and eat her dinner."
Alison went to see her GP, who dismissed her symptoms as "tension headaches".
It wasn’t the happy day it should have been – but we made the best of it
However, things took a turn for the worse when she suddenly collapsed at work.
"The college nurse advised her to return to her GP – this time she was referred to our local hospital," Verity said.
"After blood tests and an MRI scan, I went with my parents to get the results.
"The doctor told us: 'Alison, the scan has picked up a large growth inside your brain. I want to admit you, straight away'."
Later that same day, Alison was transferred to Southampton Hospital for emergency surgery.
Verity said: "She was in the operating theatre for six, seven hours, where she was found to have a glioblastoma – one of the most aggressive types of brain tumour – which was already at stage four.
"We were told: 'Without further treatment, Alison has perhaps one year to live'."
Alison spent three weeks in hospital and later had treatment including radiotherapy.
However, after only one round of chemo, which was designed to give her more time, she was already too poorly to continue.
Meanwhile, Verity and her partner Matt had already booked our wedding for August 24 2013.
Verity said: "In the run-up to the wedding, Mum was looking forward to it so much.
"We shopped online together for her mother of the bride outfit – choosing a purple dress with matching jacket and hat.
"Trying it on after it was delivered, she looked great.
"I took a photo – I’m so glad I did because now that photo means so much to me."
Despite this, in July 2013 as the wedding approached, Alison suddenly deteriorated and was admitted to hospital.
Here, a consultant told her that she had only weeks to live.
"She said to me: 'If you want your mother to be at your wedding, you must bring it forward'," Verity said.
Mum knew what was happening and was able to enjoy the blessing, but immediately afterwards she had a seizure and everyone had to leave the room
"So Matt and I arranged for our service to take place on the Monday after we received the devastating news.
"This was the very same day Mum was admitted to our local Rowans Hospice, Waterlooville, Hampshire.
"We had our church ceremony on July 8, 2013, at 7pm and although Mum was already too ill to be there in person, together with our wonderful minister, Anna, we went straight to the hospice afterwards for a blessing of our marriage – allowing Mum to be part of our special day.
"When we arrived, hospice staff had decorated her room with flowers and provided drinks for a toast.
"Mum knew what was happening and was able to enjoy the blessing, but immediately afterwards she had a seizure and everyone had to leave the room."
Alison remained in the hospice for the last seven weeks of her life and her family say she received "outstanding" care during this time.
Verity said: "The hospice was supporting our entire family.
"Our official wedding day did still go ahead as booked on August 24, 2013, at which point, my mother was still alive but in a coma.
What are glioblastoma brain tumours?
Glioblastomas are the most common high grade (cancerous) primary brain tumour in adults.
They can also occur, rarely, in children.
Glioblastomas belong to a group of brain tumours known as gliomas, as they grow from a type of brain cell called a glial cell.
Glioblastoma is the more common name for a type of brain tumour called a grade 4 astrocytoma.
Glioblastoma are 'diffuse', meaning they have threadlike tendrils that extend into other parts of the brain.
They are fast growing and likely to spread.
You may also hear them called glioblastoma multiforme, GBM or GBM4.'
There are different types of glioblastoma:
- Primary – this means the tumour first appeared as a grade 4 glioblastoma (GBM)
- Secondary – this means the tumour developed from a lower grade astrocytoma
Source: The Brain Tumour Charity
"Everything was booked and paid for and we couldn’t cancel it without losing our money.
"And Mum and Dad had told us that they wanted us to go ahead and have the wedding as planned.
"So we did go through with it, and it was wonderful, but of course there was underlying sadness.
"Two of Mum’s friends sat at her bedside for the whole day.
"Mum died four days later, on August 28 2013, aged 58.
"Before passing away, she told me that she was happy with everything she’d achieved and she felt that her life was complete – Rowans Hospice had given her a place to draw a close to that wonderful life in a calm and tranquil setting, free from pain and holding my dad’s hand."
After her mum passed away, Verity decided she wanted to give back to the hospice and found a job there.
She said: "One day I stumbled upon a job opportunity there – a role within the communications team.
"I knew I had to apply and be part of this wonderful place.
"I began working for Rowans Hospice where my mother passed away, in July 2015.
"I later became its marketing manager. Since then I have also completed several sponsored events for the hospice."
It has now been nearly six years since Verity's mum died, but she says it still feels "just like yesterday".
She said: "There have been so many times when I wished I could ask her advice, talk something through with her, or just give her a hug.
"My children never got to meet their Grandma Alison, but we talk about her all the time so that they know how much she’d have loved them."
This month, Verity will be leaving her job at Rowans Hospice to become a trainee midwife.
She says she was inspired to make the career change after having her own children.
She said: "Mum’s death taught me that life is short so if you want to follow a dream, you should do it.
"She inspired me to make the switch to become a midwife.
"But I’ll continue fundraising for the hospice when I can, because I want to make sure Rowans Hospice is there to support other families, like mine, during one of the most difficult times of their lives."
Verity supported Hospice Care Week which took place earlier this month.
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