A MUM who heard voices threatening to kill her baby during a battle with postpartum psychosis says smoking cannabis daily helped her finally feel "normal" for the first time in three years.
Terrified Olivia Humphrey hit the panic button after she clearly heard a man making the threat in her ear, as she lay in the maternity ward with newborn Josh*.
A midwife reassured the mum-of-four no-one was there, before calling a psychiatrist who diagnosed her with postpartum psychosis – a rare disorder causing hallucinations and mania after giving birth.
Olivia, 26, was given pills to help her sleep and a cocktail of meds to take home – but she says nothing worked.
With help from a community psychiatric nurse, Olivia managed to beat her daily panic attacks and auditory hallucinations.
But she says she's only felt "normal" since she started smoking cannabis three months ago, despite experts warning the drug can cause make mental health problems worse.
Speaking exclusively to Fabulous Digital Olivia, who is married, said: "It’s transformed me and my family’s life.
"I’m a better mum because of it and think it should be legalised.
"In fact, doctors should be able to prescribe it to struggling mums like me on prescription – it would keep a lot more families together.
"It’s a life changer and has made me feel normal again."
I know it’s illegal and people will judge me for it, but I’m desperate to be normal again and to make my kids have a more secure, happier home life
Olivia, who is on universal credit and disability benefits along totalling £1,000 a month, spends £20 – £40 a week buying cannabis from a local dealer.
"I know it’s illegal and people will judge me for it," she said, "but I’m desperate to be normal again and to make my kids have a more secure, happier home life.
"If that means I have to find a local man to supply me with a little bit of cannabis to smoke, then I’m OK with that.
"I smoke a joint – or maybe only half a joint – when the children are in bed around 9pm.
"Instantly I can feel the thousands of butterflies in my chest vanish and the anxious thoughts disappear.
"It means I can do the housework, iron and lay out the kids’ uniforms and have a clear head to do everything I need to do. It makes me me again."
What is postpartum psychosis and can cannabis help?
Postpartum is a rare but serious condition affecting just 1 or 2 in every 1,000 women giving birth.
Symptoms include hallucinations, delusions, a manic or depressed mood, loss of inhibitions, paranoia, restlessness and acting out of character.
The most severe symptoms normally last a few days but it can take a year, or even longer, for mums to fully recover.
In Canada and some American states, where cannabis is legal, some mums are turning to the drug to ease post-natal anxiety and depression.
“We’ve seen that in general, patients with anxiety respond really well to using medical cannabis, especially products that are richer in CBD,” Dr Mandeep Singh told Hempster. “And for patients with depression, we have certainly seen encouraging results on how medical cannabis can elevate their mood and help with related symptoms, such as energy levels.”
But little clinic research has been done into this – and breastfeeding mums are advised not to smoke.
Postpartum psychosis is a serious mental illness which should be treated as a medical emergency. Speak to your GP immediately if you, or someone you know, has symptoms. If you think they're in danger of imminent harm, call 999 or go to A&E.
Olivia’s nightmare began when she was pregnant with her third child Josh, now three, and was told he might have spina bifida at her 24-week scan.
She was given tests, which were inconclusive, and was monitored closely.
At 37 weeks – on her birthday – Olivia was told her baby hadn’t been growing for the last month.
After a quick dash to arrange childcare and grab a bag from home, Olivia was induced.
She was in labour, having painful contractions, for four days before doctors realised they needed to intervene as she wasn't dilating.
She was taken down to theatre and put on a drip to make her contractions stronger, and Josh was finally born.
I’m a better mum because of it and think it should be legalised
By then, Olivia hadn't slept for five days and was delirious.
She said: "I was so tired I felt nothing but exhaustion when they put him on my chest.
"I was numb and just wanted to sleep but I couldn’t – my mind was racing and I was hyper."
That's when she heard the man threatening to kill her baby. Olivia said: "It was terrifying.
"I went from being a normal mum excited to be having another baby to a woman who could hear voices telling me they were going to do awful things to me and my children.
"I was having panic attacks and couldn’t breathe I was so scared.
"I was referred to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with postpartum psychosis, which I’d never even heard of, and post-traumatic stress disorder from the birth.
"I did everything I was asked and took all the medication and nothing worked.
"I couldn’t get out of bed in the morning. If I did I spent all day in my pyjamas and didn’t care if my hair was greasy.
"I’d literally have a panic attack if I had to go out of the house and say 'hello' to someone or pick the kids up from school.
"Since I started smoking cannabis, I’ve completely changed. I’ve gone from a ball of stress and anger to a normal mum – I’m me again.
"I jump out of bed, I get dressed and shower, and take pride in my appearance.
"I’m a better person and a better mum. All my worries and anxiety vanish just from having a few drags of a joint.
"I don’t drink, I’ve never touched drugs before but this is a life-saver and keeps my family together.
"It makes me happy and my children happy so what harm am I doing?
"I know people will judge me and think I’m a bad mum for doing this but I’m not.
"I’m a mother who loves her children and will do anything for them. That’s why I smoke cannabis – if I didn’t my kids might not have a mother."
I went from being a normal mum excited to be having another baby to a woman who could hear voices telling me they were going to do awful things to me and my children
Olivia has even felt suicidal since being diagnosed with postpartum psychosis – and was terrified when she discovered she was pregnant again with baby Poppy, now eight months.
She said: "We’d decided not to have any more kids because of my mental health.
"I was on the Pill, but I must have missed one. Discovering I was pregnant was a total surprise and I panicked.
"I didn’t want my mental health to get any worse. I was already looking after two older children and a baby.
"Luckily, Josh didn’t have spina bifida but he did have two deep dimples at the base of his spine.
"He also has developmental delays, but no-one knows why. It was very stressful and hard work looking after him and the rest of the family.
"My daughter found me sobbing one day and asked why I was always upset. I told her that mummies have to cry sometimes if they’re having a bad day.
"Then she came back with a letter telling me how much she loved me and hoped I would learn to smile. It broke my heart reading that."
The impact of cannabis on mental health
Cannabis is known to make users feel anxious for hours at a time and stronger forms can induce panic attacks.
Regular users of the Class B drug face an increased risk of developing a psychotic illness, while cannabis smokers with pre-existing problems like schizophrenia could relapse.
Around 10% of users become addicted to the drug, with side effects including feeling demotivated.
Olivia's most recent pregnancy and birth were much easier, but her mental health never recovered.
The mum was forced to put Josh and her two eldest kids, nine and seven, intotemporary foster care while she waited for the "host of voices" in her head to go.
She said: "I was depressed all the time, and would have to go off into a room and cry because I couldn’t see any way out of this fog of despair.
"I couldn’t cope and was struggling with suicidal thoughts, so one day I rang social services and told them how I felt and asked them to take the children.
"They were so supportive, and I only did it because I love my children so much and need to make sure I’m well enough to look after them."
I couldn’t cope and was struggling with suicidal thoughts, so one day I rang social services and told them how I felt and asked them to take the children
Olivia took anti-depressants, diazepam and a string of other meds for her anxiety and panic attacks.
She visited the kids four times-a-week and felt well enough to bring them home after six months.
She said: "I only did it because I was scared I would do something silly to myself.
"I would never have harmed them, I love them too much. But I was on a downward spiral and needed to try and get better."
Olivia's dose of medication was repeatedly upped and she was starting to fear she'd never feel normal again, until someone jokingly suggested smoking cannabis.
She said: "I’ve never taken drugs and didn’t know anything about it, but when I looked online I saw what cannabis oil has done for children with epilepsy and thought it was worth a try.
"I had a few puffs on a joint and it was like a miracle. The fog cleared and I re-emerged."
What's the law on using cannabis for medical reasons?
Last year, two cannabis-based medicines were cleared for NHS use for the first time.
Epidyolex is recommended for two rare types of epilepsy while the spray Sativex can ease muscle spasms in multiple sclerosis.
But regulators say there is not enough evidence to approve cannabis-based drugs for chronic pain.
Campaigners have welcomed the go-ahead but said thousands of other people who could benefit from cannabis-based medicines were left in limbo.
Millie Hinton, from the group End Our Pain, said it had been “a massive missed opportunity”.
In 2018, it was made legal for doctors to prescribe medicinal cannabis.
But many have been reluctant to do so, citing a lack of guidance and costing concerns.
It has forced some families to buy the drugs abroad and bring them into the UK illegally.
You can get up to five years in prison and/or an unlimited fine for possessing cannabis.
Olivia has now found a regular supplier and learned to roll joints.
She said: "I hope to come off all my medication now that I have found cannabis.
"It’s done more for me in three months than my medication and psychiatrist has done in three years.
"It’s cured me and I can smile now – something that’s worth breaking the law for."
We previously spoke to a mum who is 11 weeks pregnant but smokes cannabis daily – as it's the only way to stop her morning sickness.
*Olivia's children's names have been changed.
Source: Read Full Article