FROM non-stop WhatsApps on the class chat to executive-assistant-level diarising, as a new academic year begins, mum-of-two Eimear O’Hagan, 41, gives her advice on how to make it through the first three terms.
"Earlier this week, I kissed my five-year-old son Donnacha goodbye and watched as he trotted into his classroom on his first day of school.
"It’s a milestone moment for any parent, but as this was my second time at the “reception rodeo” – my eldest son Ruadhan, seven, started school in August 2020 – I couldn’t help but glance with a smirk on my face at the gaggle of first-timer mums and think wryly:
“You have no idea what lies ahead, ladies.”
"Just as starting reception – or P1, as it’s known in Scotland where I live – is a huge lifestyle change for little ones, believe me when I say becoming a school mum throws you head first into a bewildering world of admin and school gate politics.
"And in my experience, it’s still mostly mums who carry the load when it comes to school life.
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"If you have a child starting school this month or next, chances are you’ve already been added to a WhatsApp group.
"If you want my advice, mute the group immediately and for the long term.
"Unless, of course, you want your phone to burn red hot with hundreds of inane messages about everything from Jimmy’s missing jumper to what day PE is.
"Once the excitement of the first week dies down, find your tribe. More than ever you’re going to need other women who “get” you.
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"Those chats at the school gates, commiserating about forgetting your child’s book bag (again) and arranging after-school play dates to give the other a break from the pick-up are invaluable, and I’ve forged some genuine friendships with brilliant women in the two years since Ruadhan started school.
"A bit like the mums you meet at antenatal and baby classes, you don’t realise until you have a child just how much you need other women at exactly the same stage in life for solidarity.
"And wine, of course.
"On that note, keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Of course, you’re not going to bond with all your fellow school mums, but you’ll see these women daily for the next seven years so #bekind (even if you don’t mean it).
'Don’t slag them off'
"Whether it’s the overly anxious helicopter mums who do your head in, the ones who turn up looking like a Boden advert with a perfect blow-dry, or those who boast loudly about their child being three book bands higher than the rest of the class, roll your eyes out of sight, bitch about them to your actual school gate mates, but keep things pleasant to their faces.
"Otherwise, drop-offs and pick-ups will be super awks for years to come. And don’t slag them off on your mates-only WhatsApp group, but accidentally post it in the class group – a living nightmare that actually happened to my friend.
"Next, admin! You’re about to take on a second job as your child’s social secretary.
"From keeping track of birthday parties to hosting play dates and feeling obliged to sign your child up for the likes of Beavers and music lessons because they’ve heard about them from their classmates, starting school ignites a social whirl that’s hard to get a grip on.
"I recommend a huge calendar at home, plus a shared phone calendar with your other half to keep track of your child’s mad social life.
"Your diarising responsibilities aren’t limited to what happens after school, either. PE, what day your child’s reading group is, World Book Day, all have to be remembered and woe betide you if you forget.
"Ruadhan still hasn’t forgiven me for dropping the ball and forgetting about Odd Shoe Day last year.
"Prepare to become a human cash machine, too. Along with the birthday presents and after-school activities, you’ll need to shell out for school bake sales, charity collections and, if your children are anything like mine, lost jumpers, coats and three pairs of shoes a year because they are either destroyed or grown out of.
"Take a look at your current disposable income and kiss it goodbye.
"Stress aside, the truth is that becoming a school mum is a special experience.
"Yes, it’s hard to let your kids go, and acknowledge they’re growing up, but it’s also amazing watching them learn, forge friendships and grow in confidence and ability.
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"They’ll be fine and so will you, albeit you’ll be both broke and frazzled by the end of the first term. Now, go forth, stay organised, support one another and treasure this year amid the madness!
"And whatever you do, check which WhatsApp group you’re posting in."
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