KIERSTEN Haley, 28, lives in California, USA, with husband Ethan, 29, who works in the military.
She speaks about how she is a doting “mother” to her 32 reborn dolls.
“Pointing at my baby’s bare feet, the lady in the street snapped at me: ‘You’re going to kill her!’
Tears falling, I ran to the nearest shop, kissing my little girl as I carefully slipped new socks over her tiny toes.
It didn’t matter that she was made from vinyl and therefore oblivious to the weather, the guilt and judgement felt very real.
Growing up an only child, I adored dolls and would spend hours taking them for walks and telling them all my secrets.
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At 17, I joined the military and told my parents to sell all my stuff. It was a new chapter of my life, and it felt time to say goodbye to my dolls.
It was in April 2015, while I was in the military, that I saw reborn dolls online for the first time.
I was blown away by how realistic they looked. I’d been feeling lonely and sad, and I knew that having one would help me feel better.
But when I opened the box of my first one in January 2016, having saved up £165 for it, I was so disappointed.
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With her black hair and purple eyes, Amethyst was beautiful, but she looked grumpy.
I played with her a bit, but she wasn’t the right match for me. So I kept searching for my dream reborn doll.
Two years later, I mentioned my search to Ethan, a kind, handsome guy I’d met in the army.
With his passion for Lego, he didn’t see anything weird in me wanting a doll. We clicked and began dating.
In February 2018, I saw a photo of four-month-old Paisley on Ebay and fell in love. With light-brown hair, blue eyes and a big smile, she was beautiful.
I paid £410 and set about preparing a nursery for her in my spare room, complete with lights hung over the cot and drawers packed with Babygros and dresses.
Ethan was there when she arrived in the post. Holding this gorgeous girl in my arms and seeing her smile for the first time was incredible. I knew Paisley wasn’t real, but she was perfect to me.
When my mum Alissa, now 49, found out about Paisley a few months later, she thought I was losing my mind.
Thankfully, once she’d watched videos I’d uploaded to YouTube and heard me say I knew Paisley was a doll, she relaxed.
Friends could see I was happy and were supportive, but did give me strange looks.
When Ethan was sent to Iraq for four months in March 2019, just after we got engaged, Paisley got me through the days.
Changing and feeding her and taking her for walks in the buggy eased my worry and loneliness.
By the time Ethan and I got married in July, I’d bought my next doll, Presley, and that Christmas, an artist friend made a doll who looked just like Ethan as a child. We called him Baby Ethan!
After that, I just kept ‘adopting’, which is what people in the reborn community call buying dolls.
Anna, who I adopted in April 2022, is my most expensive at £1,300.
In total, I’ve spent more than £10,000 on 32 dolls, as well as another few thousand on clothes and accessories for them.
Ethan doesn’t have a problem with the cost, or with the fact they live in a dedicated nursery in our four-bedroom house.
Not everyone is as relaxed. I’ve seen the shock and confusion when I tell friendly strangers the baby they’re admiring in the park is actually a doll.
In 2019, a female airport security officer was so horrified when she saw Paisley that she told me my doll scares people and I scare people, which really hurt.
Even in the reborn community there’s drama. In 2022, I was bombarded with angry messages when people found a three-year-old video of me ‘feeding’ my dolls with baby formula.
I only did it once, and have used fabric softener since, but they were furious, blaming me for fuelling a baby-food shortage.
I’ve learned to ignore the online comments that I should ‘just have a real baby’.
Ethan and I do want a child when the time is right, but that is separate from my hobby.
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Cuddling a doll is harmless and makes me happy. As long as there’s the love in my heart, there will be more arrivals into my nursery.”
- Follow Kiersten on YouTube @Lambysnursery.
BTW
Reborn dolls can cost more than £16,000.
Actress Demi Moore collects antique dolls and has around 2,000.
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