Goosebumps prickled my arms. My stomach churned and I started to sweat.
My breathing became shallow, and my mouth felt dry. Anxiety rose as my heart rate quickened and my vision blurred.
You’d be forgiven for thinking this scene took place in the early hours, that I’d been clubbing all night and too much alcohol was playing havoc on my body.
But no. It was 3pm on a workday. And the cause of my terrifying symptoms?
Too much tea.
Like most Brits, I’m sure, a comforting cuppa has been part of my life for as long as I can remember.
And, in turn, so has caffeine.
So much so I spent most of my adult years addicted to the stuff – an addiction that had an incredible impact on my physical and mental health.
And one that proved extremely hard to kick.
As a child, I knew my parents’ tea orders by heart – by the time I was a teenager, I was spooning four sugars into my own brew.
It felt like a defining part of growing up.
Before too long, the drink became deeply entrenched into my very existence.
Broken heart? Tea. Hungover? Tea. Good news? Tea. Bad news? Tea Bored? Tea, tea, tea, tea.
But as I got lost in the forever-cycling tea rounds and coffee runs when I became a trainee journalist in my early twenties – desperate to keep up with chaotic newsrooms – I didn’t realise just how dependent I became on caffeine.
Without thinking about it, I was mindlessly gulping down three coffees a day alongside six or seven cups of tea.
Even on the weekends, my husband and I would plan our walks around a coffee shop. My entire life was built around my next caffeine hit.
To put it into perspective, in your average cup of coffee there’s around 95mg of caffeine (depending on types of beans, and how you serve it, it can be much more) – and around 47mgs in a cup of tea with milk.
The recommended maximum caffeine intake is 400mg – not to mention that some painkillers, fizzy drinks, chocolate, matcha and even green tea can have caffeine in, too.
It’s little wonder that caffeine was once referred to in a study as the world’s most widely used psychoactive substance.
It was at the start of lockdown in Spring 2020 when I started to notice the impact of too much of the stuff.
Even after a full night’s sleep, I’d look and feel exhausted. Haggard, even.
I was tetchy until I had my first coffee of the day – and even then, I could barely concentrate until I quickly followed it up with a tea.
I was short, snappy, and felt on edge for most of the day. I’d crave short bursts of energy, so binged on carbs – then would need more caffeine to get me through the inevitable mid-afternoon slump.
I started having headaches, felt sick and my bowel movements were unpredictable.
Working from home, my caffeine intake went through the roof.
Getting up to put the kettle on was one of the only excuses I had for leaving my ‘desk’.
Looking back, it’s no wonder that just weeks later, I had my first panic attack. It was horrendous – at one point, I genuinely thought I was dying.
Once I’d managed to calm my breathing, a curious Google of my symptoms suggested that caffeine might’ve been the culprit – so, I decided to try cutting it down.
Over the next few weeks, I went from three coffees to one, and from seven teas to four. Gradually, I cut one out each day – replacing it with fruit tea, or a pint of water.
Except, I felt no different. I just needed to pee more.
So, I quit completely. Went cold turkey. I’d already cut out some, how hard could it be?
Extremely hard, it turned out. Absolutely horrific.
The first 24 hours of being entirely caffeine-free was the worst I’ve ever felt in my life. I had excruciating headaches, was shaky, drowsy, nauseous and even started hallucinating.
I had to take the day off work.
I would say it took me about three days to recover from the nausea, but the headaches lasted all week.
Simply from cutting out the UK’s favourite drink. I couldn’t believe it.
After a few weeks of being caffeine-free, I gradually introduced one coffee into my routine – as well as a single cup of decaf tea. Sometimes a fruit or peppermint one if I’m feeling fancy.
Never caffeinated – it’s still the case today.
But since hot drinks were my crutch for so long, I felt lost without one – so I decided to drink ‘nice’ coffee. I spend time on buying and grinding beans, watching it slowly drip through a filter. Enjoy it.
It’s the same with tea, choosing high-end decaf brands – it tastes the same to me as the regular stuff, to be honest.
Now, when I do have caffeine (especially when it’s an espresso martini), I find I enjoy the buzz more, too.
I wake up feeling refreshed after deeper sleep. I feel alert, brighter, and honestly, my skin, hair and teeth have never looked better.
My bowels aren’t complaining, either.
Where I once couldn’t imagine living without tea, three years on I don’t miss it at all.
It feels like looking back fondly on a boyfriend from my youth. I needed them once, but couldn’t imagine anything worse now.
While going cold turkey like I did is extremely stupid – and I definitely would not recommend it – it’s worth taking a step back from the kettle once in a while and going: ‘Do I need this?’
You might never look back – I certainly haven’t, and I won’t ever regret being tea-total.
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