Dating can be so MF humbling. How am I supposed to gracefully navigate the journey from that awkward getting-to-know-you stage to, like, a lifetime with my soul mate? That just does not scream “natural transition” to me.
One small but important source of solace, however, is that dating’s cringe factor is pretty much universal. We love a level playing field. Fine, I’m sure for some of you, courtship’s been a total walk in the park, and to you I say: Congratulations and teach me your ways. But if you, like me, shudder at the memory of some past rough dates, you are *far* from alone.
That’s why I’ve gathered a handful of editors from Team Cosmo today to share their biggest dating mistakes—and the advice that has helped them get through it. From Hinge weirdos and love bombers to ghosts, this team has really seen it a-l-l. May you find some comfort in the fact that you can’t avoid kissing a few frogs even when you work at a magazine dedicated to all things love and sex?!
P.S. Speaking of…have you checked out our Love Issue yet?
Veronica Lopez, sex and relationships editor
What’s the worst dating mistake you’ve ever made?
“Not identifying love bombing, because it is REAL! It’s easy for people to tell you what you want to hear, even if they don’t really mean it, but love bombing is a big ol’ (super easy to fall for) red flag. Also, going on more than one date with a person I haven’t been into all for the sake of ‘seeing if something’s there’ or ‘not giving up.’ You know when you like someone and when you don’t! If the chemistry isn’t there, it’s not there, and you don’t have to force it. Period.”
Best piece of dating advice you’ve heard?
“Show up as a 100 percent honest version of yourself. It’ll save both you and your date time because you’ll know when it’s not it. Also, I follow a strict ‘do not travel on the first date’ rule. I won’t travel far for a first date because if it sucks, then I just spent a billion dollars on an Uber or almost an hour commuting and it’s no longer worth it to me. Make ’em come to you! If they’re interested, they’ll do it.”
Elizabeth Kiefer, features editor
What’s the worst dating mistake you’ve ever made?
“Trying to interpret boy texts. There is no hidden meaning. Ever.”
Best piece of dating advice you’ve heard?
“Don’t judge a person based on an awk first date. But don’t keep going out with anyone after a third date without any kind of chemistry.”
Taylor Andrews, associate editor
What’s the worst dating mistake you’ve ever made?
“Not knowing how to eat edamame, so eating the entire thing instead of biting out the beans. Do you think I got a second date? Lol.”
Best piece of dating advice you’ve heard?
“Date the person who makes you feel calm and safe, not the person who gives you butterflies and nerves. If something is important to you—religion, political affiliation, vaccination status, relationship goals, etc.—clarify where the person stands on that issue before you waste your time going out with them. Ask this on a first date: ‘What’s a question you want to ask me but you’re too nervous to or isn’t normally first-date talk?’ And finally, this TikTok hack: The best dating app opener is, ‘What’s your most controversial opinion?’”
Beth Sacca, assistant visuals editor
What’s the worst dating mistake you’ve ever made?
“Dating a wannabe-famous-influencer TikToker.”
Best piece of dating advice you’ve heard?
“Date your friend that you constantly told all your friends they should date. There’s a reason you’re telling people such great things about them.”
Tamara Fuentes, associate entertainment editor
What’s the worst dating mistake you’ve ever made?
“Giving guys too many chances when they clearly weren’t interested.”
Best piece of dating advice you’ve heard?
“Dating and relationships are all about creating a balanced partnership with someone. When something feels too one-sided, it’s time to communicate to figure out how to find balance again.”
Jacquelyn Greenfield, associate shopping editor
What’s the worst dating mistake you’ve ever made?
“Falling for my first Tinder hookup/rebound after a breakup. SMH. I got so attached over the phone and texting, so then we met, and I realized I was back in the dating game before our first date even started.”
Best piece of dating advice you’ve heard?
“PLAY THE MF GAME!! Sounds terrible but it’s true. Preserve your feelings before thinking about someone else. If they’re really worth it, you’ll know when to stop playing and to take them seriously; otherwise, have as much fun as possible.”
Katherine J. Igoe, contributing editor
What’s the worst dating mistake you’ve ever made?
“I hung out with a guy—an NYC firefighter—every weekend for a year only for him to tell me he ‘didn’t have time’ for a girlfriend. And I stayed with him for a *while* after that.”
Best piece of dating advice you’ve heard?
“Online dating really sucks. I just don’t think it works. Go out and meet people IRL, like friends of friends. That’s how I met my husband.”
Julia Lawrence, junior motion designer
What’s the worst dating mistake you’ve ever made?
“Saying I was fine when I was not. I should have told him straight up how I felt, and if he couldn’t handle it…time to move on.”
Best piece of dating advice you’ve heard?
“Never settle for anyone that doesn’t hear, see, and understand you fully.”
Kristiana Morell, junior motion designer
What’s the worst dating mistake you’ve ever made?
“Splitting the bill on the first date.”
Best piece of dating advice you’ve heard?
“If their family seems crazy…get the hell out!”
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