"I was literally at my wit's end. That night, I was drinking and I was into my pills," the Chopped Canada host said, adding that he wanted to die but thankfully God woke him up. "I would've ruined so many lives if I had died."
Dean McDermott is opening up about a terrifying fight with estranged wife Tori Spelling that led to him nearly taking his own life.
In a new interview with DailyMail.com, the Chopped Canada host detailed the drunken dispute and the aftermath that followed, with McDermott revealing that he took “six or seven” sleeping pills in hopes of not waking up after the brutal back-and-forth.
“Drunk and angry,” McDermott said the suicide attempt took place in June, leading him to announce on Instagram that he and Spelling were separating — which was news to the Beverly Hills, 90210 alum.
“It was the night that I raged against her and the children and I saw the light, the final flicker of the flame go out in her eyes,” McDermott told the outlet.
He continued, “I posted that because I was at the end of my rope. I didn’t know what to do. I had burned everything down yet again.”
Dean McDermott Says He 'Petrified' Tori Spelling, Kids with Alcohol Rage as He Breaks Silence on Split
McDermott ultimately took the post down, but the weight of his fight with Spelling and what he had just done was almost too much to bare, prompting the 57-year-old actor to take more Ambien than he already had.
“I was literally at my wit’s end. That night, I was drinking and I was into my pills,” adding that he wanted to die but thankfully God woke him up.
“I would’ve ruined so many lives if I had died,” the father of six admitted.
McDermott called the moment a cry for help, though it came at the cost of hurting his family in the process.
“It wasn’t the right way to do it, but it got people’s attention. The people I needed it to. It fell in the ears of people I wanted it to fall into,” he said.
Dean McDermott Says Tori Spelling's Mom Candy Put Strain on Relationship Before Split
McDermott added, “I was so full of shame and it was such a horrible idea. And then my kids were really, really hurt.”
The admission comes just days after McDermott opened up about the cause of his split from Spelling, following 18 years of marriage.
In the lengthy interview, he cites several issues, from intimacy to a past riddled with ups and downs, but namely blames his prescription drug and alcohol addiction for the demise of their marriage.
“That’s what it led to and that’s what led to the brokenness and to what happened between me and Tori. I couldn’t do it anymore,” McDermott, who has since gotten sober, said of their marriage.
Tori Spelling Says Mold Infection Was 'Slowly Killing' Family For Three Years
“I couldn’t live that life anymore,” he added. “I was tired of the anger and the yelling.”
Currently in a sober living facility, McDermott has not seen Spelling or his kids in over five months, but is committed to making amends to those he hurt.
“It’s going to be living the rest of my life making amends because I took something that was really beautiful and I just tore it down year after year, day after day,” McDermott said.
Spelling has yet to comment on McDermott’s interview or the nature of their split.
If you or someone you know is struggling with depression or has had thoughts of harming themselves or taking their own life, get help. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255) provides 24/7, free, confidential support for people in distress.
If you or someone you know is struggling with substance abuse, get help. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline (1-800-662-4357) provides 24/7, free, confidential support for people in distress.
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