A few weeks ago, the wonderful Viola Davis won a Grammy for the audiobook narration of her memoir Finding Me. This win gained her entry into one of the most exclusive clubs in the world. No, not some sort of underground memoirist fight club where David Sedaris oils up and wrestles Barack Obama (although I would love to see that) but rather Viola became an EGOT winner.
You probably know what an EGOT is, but just in case, it’s when one individual wins an Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, and Tony Award. Viola Davis is now one of only 18 people who have EGOT-ted, and one of only four to win all awards in performance-based categories (rather than something like a producer credit). While there have been some non-American EGOTs, including Andrew Lloyd Webber and Tim Rice, it is clearly American-centric. The awards are all won within the American system. They are Hollywood. So, Viola’s win got me thinking: what should the Australian EGOT be?
Hollywood has EGOTs, but we have MARGOTs. Credit:Paramount Pictures
One school of thought I’ve seen a few times is that we should have what is called the LAAH. This would require individuals to win a Logie, AACTA, ARIA, and a Helpmann. This suite of awards would cover acting/presenting, music/audiobooks, and theatre – pretty similar to the EGOT.
In all honesty, this does make sense, but I don’t think it’s good enough. Our industry is smaller, not as much content is made, and we don’t just want a less impressive copy of what America does. Our version needs to be unique to Australia. It should contain things we feel are important, as a country. So, after some consideration, I think I’ve come up with a solution.
I propose…the MARGOT.
The MARGOT is named after one of Australia’s finest acting exports, Margot Robbie, soon to be seen in Greta Gerwig’s much anticipated Barbie movie. Margot does not have an EGOT or a MARGOT, but she’s from Queensland (like me) and when I saw her in Neighbours yonks ago I predicted she would be a star, so we have a special bond (she does not know about it).
With that, it’s time for me to break down the MARGOT.
M – The Dally M/Miles Franklin/MICF
The EGOT is skewed towards rewarding people in the arts, theatre kids, and nerds. That’s fine, but it’s clear that Australia is also (not exclusively) a sporting nation, and this should be recognised. In my first draft of the MARGOT, the M stood for the Dally M Medal. This would mean to win a MARGOT, you need to win the NRL Player of the Year Award. I admit, in hindsight, this was slightly limiting. To make it fair, and possible, I have decided to expand the M to include a couple of other awards. You can win a Dally M Medal, yes. Or, you can win the prestigious literary Miles Franklin. Or, finally, you could win the Melbourne International Comedy Festival Award for Most Outstanding Show Winner. I am being exceedingly generous here, expanding the playing field so people who can’t play sports well (improv comedians) can still have a chance.
A- ARIA
This one is self-explanatory. To be considered one of the best entertainers in the country, you have to win a pointy and mortally dangerous Australian Recording Industry Association award. I have a unique perspective on this particular award because I am one of the least musical people on planet earth, yet a comedy song I co-wrote for Tonightly with Tom Ballard won an ARIA in 2018. This should be taken as inspiration. As with Viola Davis winning a Grammy for a spoken word audiobook, you too can win an ARIA without needing to be a musician. In fact, you can have not a musical bone in your entire body, you can basically be tone-deaf, and still win an ARIA. Take it from me.
R – Rock Eisteddfod
One thing that is shamefully not really covered in the EGOT, something I believe is vital, is the MAGIC OF DANCE. What better way to bring dance in as part of the conversation than through the Australian Rock Eisteddfod Challenge? Students from across the nation dance their little hearts out to a routine about an important social issue or idea, all while not smoking or drinking. It’s also a chance for non-performers to win, as the backstage crew for each school dance is also included. This allows people who are less into dance and more into the set building, working with their hands, and lesbianism to participate. It may not come as a shock, but I was a part of the backstage crew a couple of times – including an infamous Simpsons-themed performance.
G – Gold Logie
This one is straightforward, but may be the hardest to achieve. You have to win the Gold Logie, an award historically usually won by white middle-aged male comedians, TV presenters, or actors who are on a tv show for 10-12 years. If this is you, congratulations. If this is not you, it’s time we crack the system open. Good luck!
O – Olympic Medal
This one is also pretty self-explanatory and may be difficult – but not impossible. This is for three reasons. Firstly, the Olympics is not just about swimming, running and jumping. There are sports you can start playing later in life and still qualify, such as shooting or archery. Secondly, the Olympics are continually adding new sports. They’ve added things such as surfing and skateboarding, and the Olympics 2024 will include breakdancing. I can only imagine that in a few years, they will include things such as Monopoly and solving Magic Eye puzzles. Thirdly, it’s “Olympics” of any kind. Summer, Spring, Senior, Para, are all included. You can do it, I believe in you.
T – Tray of Meat from a Pub Raffle
If you haven’t been at a pub somewhere where they have raffled off a meat tray – you have not lived. There is nothing more exciting than chucking in a few gold coins and getting a little ticket in return, featuring the number and letter combination that will determine your fate. The excitement at your number being called, your drunk friends cheering, the excited scramble to collect it, the celebratory turn and pump of your mixed meat goodie bag? It’s The Beautiful Game. In line with the MARGOT committee’s (my) dedication to inclusion and good vibes, “tray of meat” can also include a vegetable or vegan or cheese tray, and “pub” can mean any event they raffle off a meat tray. Unrelated: after repeating the phrase “meat tray” in my head, I’ve decided Meat Ray would be a good wrestler name, if anyone wants to use that.
There you have it. The MARGOT. I have not done any research and confirmation into the accuracy of this following claim, but it appears football player Emma Tonegato may be the closest so far to a MARGOT.
Becoming a MARGOT winner will be extremely difficult, and in some cases require the existence of time travel. It’s going to take some special people, and that’s precisely the way it should be. If every Tom (Hanks), (Andy) Dick, and Harry (Styles) can win, it’s no longer exceptional. I’m sure many people will have their opinions about this, and what should constitute their list, and to them, I say – feel free to make your own version, like this one:
A cultural guide to going out and loving your city. Sign up to our Culture Fix newsletter here.
To read more from Spectrum, visit our page here.
Most Viewed in Culture
From our partners
Source: Read Full Article