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A British hillbilly broke his penis in a freak bike accident – twice.
King Billy, 32, from Devon, is one of the faces behind Hillbilly Nation.
It's a movement of UK folk embracing the culture of the rowdy deep south of the US.
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The biker and his pal 'The Mountain', 26, have certainly embraced the way of life – from rocking mullets, being one with mud and competing in daring racing contests.
And King Billy – real name Josh Coles – has certainly had a few close calls with his wild antics.
"One of my most unsuccessful stunts, but it wasn’t really a stunt, was back in the day when I was Enduro racing and was going flat out in the woods," King Billy exclusively revealed to us in the My Colourful Life series.
"Some guy put his leg out and it means you can go past, flat out and no brakes.
"At the last minute, the chap decided to go into the same rut as me and I obviously steered off and I went straight into a tree.
"The bike went one way and I kind of hugged the tree – bear hugged the tree – like I scissored the tree.
"The tree had been snedded up fortunately with a chain saw ready for a harvester to do its bit.
"But, there was one peg.
"There was one peg hanging out of the tree and you can guess exactly where that went – straight in the ole c***."
The British hillbilly did not have much luck with his accident tree hugging which left him with the "worst feeling ever".
King Billy laid on the ground with his throbbing todger and waited for an ambulance to help relieve his awkward injury.
He waited and feared that he'd "deleted" his penis.
But amusingly, he was fond on his new swollen look for a brief moment.
"Literally, it was the worst feeling ever," King Billy candidly admitted as The Mountain cracked up with laughter beside him.
“I hit the deck and waited for an ambulance and waited for the paramedics because I couldn’t move.
“I thought I deleted my penis.
“I thought my life was over, so I just sat there waiting.
“They come along, cut my trousers off and revealed the old boy which was very swollen – which looked great – but not the point.
“They said ‘it’s fine, it’s still intact, we’re all good, it’s still attached’ which was great as I thought it was deleted.
“And then, I went back and finished the race with my trousers all cut.
“It was brilliant, it was a very biblical moment."
Despite gritting his teeth and dealing with a larger than life wang to complete the race, King Billy's willy worries were just about to get worse.
His penis continued to grow in size and turn blue and black from the impact.
And the doctor's diagnosis would explain why his tree-beaten schlong was suffering.
He said: "Anyways, later on in the evening I noticed it getting bigger and very blue and I was very concerned at this point.
"I basically went to the doctors and he politely said that ‘you’ve broke your penis'.
"Which I thought was impossible, right?
"I thought it was impossible, but apparently not.
“So not literally, it obviously doesn’t ‘break’.
"But, it didn’t work.
"I couldn't get an erection, I couldn't pee, I couldn't go to the toilet.
"Then it went blue, purple, and then it went black.
"And then, it took a few weeks to recover."
King Billy then shared the "moral" of his rather gruelling story.
It appears that the lesson from this tale it to, well, repeat your mistakes…
He added: "I went back out because if you fall off your bike, you’re always told to get up on riding.
"So I went out, got on my bike and did another Enduro.
"And I fell off, hit a tree and broke my c*** again.”
- Exclusives
- My Colourful Life
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