Two years ago, I was travelling alone on a flight to Mallorca where someone was randomly assigned a seat next to me and not their partner.
They huffed and puffed as they sat down, exclaiming that there was not enough room. Throughout the flight, they did everything they could to let me know just how uncomfortable I was making them.
As someone who is already conscious of how much space they take up on a flight, I was pressing myself as hard as I could up against the window to stay out of their way and although I apologised for the lack of room, they felt the need to turn around and shout across to their friend a few rows back.
‘I am SO uncomfortable, I can’t sit next to this girl anymore!’
It was loud and clear. Their friend tried reasoning with them, ensuring them that the flight was short and they’d be there soon, but it was clear that my neighbour was not happy.
With an hour and a half of the flight to go, I was absolutely mortified.
I kept my headphones in, turned my music up and when the plane finally landed, I waited until it had disembarked so I didn’t have to walk down the aisle in front of everyone.
Although people may not have known it was me they had been talking about, I couldn’t bear the thought of everyone staring.
I felt as though my whole trip had been ruined before it even began and it wasn’t until the next morning when I woke up to see the stunning ocean view from my hotel room, that I realised I couldn’t let that one bad experience determine how I felt about the rest of my trip.
For a long time, I believed that I was too fat to fly but this experience finally made me realise that I deserved to be there just as much as anyone else did. Confronting this thought wasn’t easy, but I’ve come a long way since my fear began.
It started when I was 19, during my first-ever solo trip to California. As a UK size 14, I struggled to fit into the plane seats comfortably and I came to believe that travel wasn’t for people of my size.
Small seats paired with a lack of representation for plus-size bodies in brochures and marketing material, certainly made me feel as though I had to shrink my size if I ever wanted to travel again.
As you can imagine, this made me feel like I needed to change in order to live out my dreams. I constantly told myself I’d travel again when I had what I thought was ‘my perfect body’ and it honestly made me feel like I’d never get there.
I put my career on hold because I believed I wouldn’t make it as a travel blogger. I said no to opportunities and compared myself to everyone around me. No matter how much I wanted to see the world, I was trapped by my own misconceptions and I couldn’t bear the thought of not fitting into a plane seat again.
Four years later, in February 2016, my boyfriend finally managed to convince me to go on a trip with him to Paris. In that time, I’d put on a considerable amount of weight.
In the back of my head I couldn’t stop thinking, ‘What if I don’t fit in the plane seats or the bathroom?’ or, ‘What if everyone stares at me as I walk down the plane aisle?’ In the weeks running up to the trip, I came up with a million and one worst-case scenarios.
I knew that the only way I was going to get over the fears and anxieties that I felt about travelling while plus-size was to face them head-on and so, as scared as I was, I got on my first flight since gaining weight.
Getting on the flight to Paris allowed me to see that a lot of the things I worried about were scenarios I had fabricated myself.
Sure, I got a few stares from locals and there were a number of rides I was unable to go on at Disneyland but for the most part, I had an incredible time.
I don’t look back on the trip now and think about the few negative experiences I had but instead, I remember the overwhelming sense of happiness I felt when I saw the Eiffel Tower for the first time, and the delicious taste of the hot chocolates we drank from Angelina’s.
Since then I have gone on to face so many of the fears I had as a plus-size traveller.
From finding a wetsuit to fit me in the Canary Islands to snorkelling in Bali, travelling has taught me that there are actually a lot of things you have to consider when you have a larger body.
I’m constantly asking myself questions like ‘What is the weight limit for this activity?’ and ‘Will I be judged for my size?’ and ‘What level of fitness do I need to be at in order to go on this trip?’
Travel is not ‘one size fits all’ and I want to show people that they shouldn’t feel scared to get out there and live their lives. I wouldn’t want anyone to feel the way I have done, now that I know how incredible exploring can be.
Although I am still overcoming fears and anxieties every single time I travel, it definitely gets easier with time. From learning the best ways to make myself feel comfortable on a flight to knowing the right questions to ask when booking an excursion, there are definitely many methods to make travelling while plus-size less difficult than it may seem.
Personally, the easiest way to ensure I’m as prepared as I can be for a trip is to think of every single possible outcome before I leave. If I think I’ll need a seatbelt extender, I’ll pack one in my carry on. If I’m worried about whether or not I won’t be able to do a specific activity, I’ll get in touch with the company beforehand to ask about weight limits. If I’m worried about whether or not I’ll be judged for my size, I’ll do research on the culture surrounding plus-size bodies in the area I’m visiting.
Since discovering this, my life has changed dramatically. Not only do I travel regularly as a blogger, but I’ve also started a community website – Plus Size Travel Too – for plus-size people who want to see the world.
There’s a whole world out there for me to explore. Travel is for everybody – and for every body. With that knowledge, my world has opened up to so many incredible things I would never have had the chance to experience otherwise.
One of the greatest things, however, is that my confidence and love for my own body grows with every single trip that I take. After years of hating my figure, that’s something I will definitely cherish for the rest of my life.
You can find out about Kirsty’s website here.
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