DEAR DEIDRE: I’VE been having sex with my girlfriend’s best mate. I want to stop but she says she will tell my girlfriend everything if I end it with her.
I’m 26 and my girlfriend is 25. We have been together for two years and everything has been perfect.
Get in touch with Deidre today
Got a problem?
My team and I are working safely from home but we are here to help you as always.
Send an email to [email protected].
Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
Follow me on Twitter @deardeidre.
I was at a friend’s 25th birthday party a couple of months ago. My girlfriend felt poorly so she didn’t go.
While there I noticed that one of my girlfriend’s mates was looking at me. I realised she was trying to get it on with me but I just ignored it.
I had quite a bit to drink during the evening so I went out into the garden to get some fresh air. This girl must have seen me leave the house because the next thing I knew she’d followed me to the bottom of the garden.
We started chatting and after a little while the conversation turned flirty. She had just split up with her boyfriend and thanked me for listening to her talk about it.
She’s 26 and a very pretty, petite blonde — quite different from my girlfriend, who is tall and dark-haired.
The next thing I knew this girl leant over to kiss me. I was surprised but kissed her straight back. We ended up having sex behind the garden shed.
Then I thought I could hear voices so we quickly got our clothes back on and hid. We swapped mobile numbers then rejoined the party.
Now this girl keeps calling me, sending me sexy pics of herself and getting me to do stuff with her online.
topic4today
POSSESSIVE jealousy is one of the most poisonous and destructive of emotions, eating into peace of mind and wrecking relationships..
My e-leaflet Dealing With Jealousy explains how best to protect your relationship whether you’re the one eaten up by the green-eyed monster or the victim.
Email or private-message me on Facebook.
I don’t really want to but I can’t resist her.
She’s much more adventurous sexually than my girlfriend.
She has now threatened to tell my girl everything if I block her.
I’m really stuck and don’t know what to do.
DEIDRE SAYS: You are not helpless. Face up to the fact you are making a choice every time you do anything sexual with this girl. The more you give in to this girl’s threats, the more she will pressure you. Call her bluff.
She has nothing to gain from telling your girlfriend and may well back off if you stand up to her. What sort of best mate is she, anyway? Not one to be trusted, that’s for sure. If she really is so malicious you think she may tell your girlfriend just to be nasty, then you will have to explain the whole situation to your girlfriend yourself first.
She won’t be happy. Say you’ve been stupid but that you are truly sorry and want to do all you can to put things right.
If part of the other girl’s attraction is that she is bolder sexually, ask your girlfriend whether there are changes you could make that would make your sex life feel more thrilling for her, and then she’s more likely to reciprocate. My e-leaflet How To Light Her Fire can help.
Source: Read Full Article