DEAR DEIDRE:I’M a disaster in bed and can only last around two minutes before climaxing and it’s even less impressive if my girlfriend gives me oral sex beforehand.
She is trying to put a brave face on it but I can tell she is getting annoyed by my pathetic performance.
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When she gives me oral sex, I often have to hurry to have actual sex.
I don’t think she has ever had an orgasm with me.
I’m 49 and she’s 47. We’ve been together for two years and I’ve even started to avoid sex because it’s all just too embarrassing.
Help. I really do like her and want to sort this out.
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DEIDRE SAYS: First of all, I want to reassure you that premature ejaculation is a very common issue.
Usually it’s a psychological issue, rather than a physical one.
Sex starts in your head, so the more you worry about this, the more likely it is to happen.
It sounds like you could spend a lot more time focusing on your girlfriend, giving her oral sex and making sure she is getting pleasure, thus taking the attention away from you.
Another technique that is worth trying is taking penetrative sex off the agenda altogether for a while, and concentrate on pleasuring each other with touching, kissing and massage.
I’m sending you my support pack, Want To Last Longer? which will give you more advice and tips.
In future, always take a breath before you lash out in hurt or anger, so you don’t say things you regret.
I’m sending my support pack, Learning To Love.
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