DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner’s ex demands that we have their children at least five days a week. It’s a joke.
I’ve got a daughter and he has three children from his previous relationship.
The children aren’t an issue – I love them – but we are planning to move in together and I don’t want the kids with us all the time.
His ex uses him. She always seems to “have plans” when he has a day off, so we get no time alone.
I like peace when my daughter goes to her dad’s but his kids are always around.
I feel more like a babysitter than a lover. I’m 30 and he’s 34. How will we ever be happy if he’s constantly at her beck and call?
DEIDRE SAYS: His kids come as a package with him, just as your daughter does with you, but it sounds as if his ex is taking advantage.
Talk to him first about what would be a fair balance. If his ex wants you to have their children some extra time, then it has to be swapped so you get time back in exchange.
Mediation can help you. See nfm.org.uk or call 0300 4000 636.
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