‘It’s Pride month! You’re gay this month only!’, my dad slapped my back as he snapped his head back to laugh at his joke.
But he wasn’t wrong. A lot of the time, this is how many of us in the LGBTQ+ community feel.
We’ve made this joke between ourselves a few times over the years, but it’s starting to get harder to laugh. ‘Do you have pride today?’ he’s known to walk in and ask cheerfully.
‘So proud and so gay!’ I used to laugh back.
This month, after cracking the same joke, he stopped laughing and looked at me – he finally saw my face. Dark circles surrounded my eyes, my hair in disarray and an elongated sigh left my mouth.
Pride month is over and I’m exhausted.
I’ve worked hard and been booked and busy. People wanted photoshoots, podcast recordings, panel talks and found ways to celebrate us for our sexuality and gender.
It’s great, but it’s all packed into one month. A lifetime of work is awkwardly rammed into June of every year, while the rest of the time, we are ignored.
When Pride month comes along, rainbows adorn corporate logos on social media. A tweet is sent out saying ‘Happy Pride Month!’ and it’s followed by either congratulatory or disgusted comments.
A panel talk is put on about how allies can support us – people listen intently, nodding their heads, sometimes asking strange questions, and then they leave, feeling satisfied with their contribution.
Come 1 July, rainbows are removed from logos, a new heritage month appears, or a significant week, and their focus has faltered.
But legislation, bigotry and transphobia doesn’t wait to come into action in June – it’s suppressing us all year round. It’s causing significant pain. It’s killing people.
In a recent report published by Just Like Us, a queer youth charity, they found that ‘LGBT+ young people are twice as likely to contemplate suicide, and Black LGBT+ young people are three times more likely’.
The report goes on to reveal that ‘LGBT+ young people are three times more likely to self-harm (31% have self-harmed, compared to 9% of non-LGBT+ young people) and experience drug or alcohol dependence (6% compared to 2% of non-LGBT+ young people)’.
On top of this, Galop’s 2021 Hate Crime report revealed that ‘two-thirds (64%) of respondents had experienced anti-LGBT+ violence or abuse’.
Meanwhile, in politics, Minister for Women and Equalities Kemi Badenoch is considering changing the legal definition of sex in the Equality Act, making it harder for trans people to access single-sex spaces like hospital wards and sports.
Ask yourself: after Pride month is over, what will you do to support the community? Allies should acknowledge that their privilege allows influence and power to organise in spaces we may not be able to.
While queer people have historically changed numerous lives, through activism, health and science, many people who consider themselves allies will pick and choose when to stand with us.
Our history is full of queer changemakers. Alan Turing, a gay man, is part of the reason I’m typing on my laptop right now, as he’s known as the father of modern computer science.
Alicia Garza, a queer woman, is the co-founder of the Black Lives Matter movement in July 2013, after the acquittal of George Zimmerman for the killing of Trayvon Martin.
Sara Josephine Baker worked in public health, founded the American Child Hygiene Association in 1909 and drastically reduced child mortality – she also had a female partner, novelist Ida Alexa Ross Wylie.
Menaka Guruswamy and Arundhati Katju are the lawyers who fought for LGBTQ+ rights in India and in 2018 successfully decriminalised homosexuality, which had been criminalised by the British in 1861.
During South Asian Heritage Month, Black History Month, at your workplace when people are discussing internal and external workshops, think about how the LGBTQ+ community has almost always had a vital impact on your discussions. In ignoring our history, it becomes easier to discard our future.
Historically and presently, we make a difference to lives. Our music impacts the world, our art is never forgotten and words are etched in our minds, as a reminder that we are important.
All year round, the likes of Sam Smith, Janelle Monae and Lil Nas X fill our ears and move our bodies.
David Hockney, Jean-Michel Basquiat and Frida Kahlo have created beauty that inspires us. James Baldwin, Virginia Woolf and Angela Davis are regularly quoted by us.
But being a historical or prominent figure isn’t what makes us valid – it’s our mere existence. Our celebration is never-ending, no matter how influential we are.
While the world continues to burn, marginalised people will suffer the most – queer people of colour, trans people of colour, Black trans folk – so we need you, as allies, all the time.
Instead of packing it all into one month, show your allyship by declaring your stance in our lives all year round.
Rally to protest alongside us. Donate money to organisations like Gendered Intelligence, who are making significant change for young trans people. Question family and friends who may display signs of homophobia or transphobia. Gently and politely ask the community for advice on your own bias.
I challenge you to show up for us, every day.
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