Anderson Cooper: Donald Trump is an ‘obese turtle on his back, flailing…’

Donald Trump waddled into the White House’s press briefing room last night, making his first on-camera appearance since his batsh-t crazy White House appearance around 2 am Wednesday morning. The Wednesday morning speech was where Trump showed off how f–king stupid he is, and that he doesn’t comprehend how votes are tallied. He tried to “claim” certain states (Michigan, Wisconsin, Florida) and it was just… insane. Since then, he’s been sitting in the White House residence, surrounded by cheeseburgers, the desperation seeping out of his orange pores, calling up governors and whining about how in the world they’re allowing Democratic votes to be counted. He truly is the most pathetic dipsh-t alive.

So, I actually think the American people were primed for just how stupid he would be when he was clearly losing. In the first MINUTE of his speech, he was lying so much that MSNBC just stopped airing the speech completely, with Brian Williams cutting in almost immediately:

"Here we are again in the unusual position of not only interrupting the President of the United States but correcting the President of the United States…"

— Oliver Darcy (@oliverdarcy) November 5, 2020

Apparently, all of the network TV stations cut Trump off too – NBC, CBS and ABC – at some point early in his unhinged speech. So, what was so bad? Trump basically argued that there was widespread fraud in all of the states and cities which were voting for Biden, that they were going to sue everybody, that horrible, terrible things were happening with the vote and that he knows this because he’s losing. His rancid beef jerky brain can’t comprehend that he’s losing all of these states. Anyway, CNN carried Trump’s speech in its entirety, and then Jake Tapper and Dana Bash came on and read him for filth:

— The Lead CNN (@TheLeadCNN) November 6, 2020

“Ugly” and “pathetic” and “sad.” Yes. And then minutes later, Anderson Cooper took over the election desk and performed this beautiful piece of prose:

In case you want to tattoo AC’s words onto your body, here you go:

“I don’t think we’ve ever seen anything like this from a President of the United States and I think, as Jake said. It’s sad and it is truly pathetic. And of course it is dangerous, and of course it will go to the courts, but you’ll notice that the president did not have any evidence presented at all, nothing. No actual, real evidence of any kind of fraud. He talked about people putting papers up in windows he talked about things he’d seen on the internet.”

“That is the President of the United States, that is the most powerful person in the world, and we see him like an obese turtle on his back, flailing in the hot sun, realizing his time is over, but he just hasn’t accepted it and he wants to take everybody down with him, including this country.”

[From Newsweek]

Don’t get me wrong, I love all of this. I love this energy. I love Jake Tapper and Brian Williams and Nicolle Wallace and Anderson Cooper calling Donald Trump a pathetic loser, a ratf–king liar, a degenerate turtle, all of it. I just wish some of that energy had been there for the past five years, I’m just sayin’!

Photos courtesy of Avalon Red.

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