Former Gov. Chris Christie’s written a book. “Let Me Finish: Trump, the Kushners, Bannon, New Jersey and the Power of In-Your-Face Politics.” It smells as sweet as parts of Secaucus.
In the first chapter, he sticks a shiv into “the kid” Jared Kushner’s guts, “not ready for prime time Attorney General Jeff Sessions,” decapitates “a Trump Tower dumpster” Steve Bannon. Then onto “phonies, connivers, power grabbers, snakes,” more Jared stabs and a spritz to “ ‘Apprentice’ show loser Omarosa.”
Before addressing a Police Athletic League luncheon, he talked with me.
“I don’t agree with any of the candidates on anything,” he said. “Most have never been on a national stage. They have a hard time dealing with that and trying to look presidential.
“The Beto guy is ridiculous. And as for Buttigieg, one day I’m in South Bend, Ind. This guy introduces himself. Never saw him before. Never heard of him. He says, ‘Hello, I’m the mayor of South Bend.’ I say, ‘Yeah, great . . . where you headed?’ Who knew who he was?
“Kamala’s raised her head. That means they all go after her. Try to kill her off. Politics always needs an enemy. It’s not what she’ll say. They don’t yet realize the problem’s not what’s outgoing — it’s what’s ingoing.
“As for Andrew Yang, please. He wants to give every person in the United States money. Told this would cost billions and we’d go broke, he probably said, ‘S - - t, I didn’t do the math.’ ”
About Biden, who got flummoxed: “We’re dealing with human beings. He’s not disciplined. On the stage at the debate he said, ‘My time is up.’ Hey . . . listen . . . he’s 76.”
I was with Donald and Christie in Donald’s office that unbelievable night the election returns came in deciding he’s our next president. We three stood close together watching results coming in on TV. Now Christie says: “That night I had a skeptical attitude. I’d checked exit polls, and I was skeptical.”
Ok, so besides hustling a book, what’s he doing?
“I’m on four corporate boards, on ABC with Stephanopoulos many Sundays. I’m a crisis consultant, but my real love — and hope to go back to it — is public service. And I love New Jersey. Maybe I made some mistakes, but I wouldn’t change anything about my eight years there.”
What about the George Washington Bridge kerfuffle?
“I wish that s - - t never happened, but that was outside my control. It’s a political prosecution. The thing was stupidity. The Supreme Court’s going to hear the case so it’s going to drag on some more.”
Can’t put his pencil down
Back when Dolly Parton had her own hair and Joe Biden had less of his, there lived a pasha named Vanity Fair’s Graydon Carter. Soldiering on, come the 20th, from Graydon’s “air mail headquarters in Greenwich Village” he’s launching “a digital weekend edition of a nonexistent daily newspaper,” which “will arrive free in your inbox every Saturday 6 a.m. for six weeks. After the trial period, it is hoped you will subscribe.”
To quote great wordsmith Irving Prometheus: Once a highly paid editor — always an editor.
Titanic survivor Ella White’s light-up cane signaled rescue ships for over 700 passengers floating in the freezing water. Its sale by Guernsey’s Auction House is July 19 at the International Yacht Restoration School in Newport, RI. Estimate is $300K to $500K . . . It’s Greg Kinnear, Lisa Kudrow and Martin Short in comedy tryout TV thing “Good People.” The TV pilot’s flying into Amazon.
Torn from us
Rip Torn just left us. He always had much to say. Like: “Bruce Dern was my understudy in ‘Sweet Bird of Youth.’ We didn’t get along. He had a cold and kept breathing in my face.”
And: “I was born in Texas Feb. 6, but I claimed Feb. 8 because that was Jimmy Dean Day.”
So this business man about a speaker he’d hired a night before: “He was an unusual speaker. He didn’t get many laughs but the smiles were deafening.”
Only in New York, kids, only in New York.
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