Donald Trump: Mike Pence & Mitch McConnell Are Losers! I Run the GOP!

Folks, we regret to inform you that Florida real estate developer Donald Trump is 100 percent back on his bullsh-t.

Society was granted a short reprieve when Trump left office in January after losing the election to Joe Biden.

During his final months in the White House, Trump moaned and complained and managed to create a post-election climate so contentious that simply reporting an accurate vote count came to be seen as a clear demonstration of bias.

This, of course, led to the storming of the Capitol building by semi-sentient MAGA chuds who have very strong opinions about the finer points of the US Constitution, but couldn’t tell you how many branches of government we have if you disarmed them and held their own gun to their head.

Anyway, the world was a kinder, more intelligent place with Donald in exile at Mar-A-Lago.

Sure, Melania and Barron still had to endure his rambling tirades, but at least they could console themselves with the knowledge that they were truly taking one for the team.

But like Godzilla when he sinks back into to the ocean after decimating Tokyo, Trump was bound to return and force us to once again gaze upon his horrible, radioactive visage.

The dreaded reemergence happened at the Republican National Committee’s top donors in South Florida this week.

Now, the GOP suffered some pretty humiliating defeats in November, which means the event called for a tone of somber humility and reflection.

And Donnie being Donnie, he naturally delivered the exact opposite.

According to a new report from the New York Times, Trump made it clear that he has no intention of relinquishing his control of the Republican Party, this despite the fact that he’s largely to blame for the party losing the House, the Senate, and the White House in November.

In a series of speeches, Trump reportedly blasted his own vice-president Mike Pence for confirming the election results that gave Biden the presidency

He also blasted Mitch McConnell as a “stone cold loser” and accused Dr. Anthony Fauci of being “full of crap.”

Perhaps feeling that he hadn’t sufficiently demonstrated the depth of his insanity, Trump then praised the protestors who made headlines on January 6, but specified that he was “not talking about the people that went to the Capitol.”

“He’s already proven that he wants to have a major say or keep control of the party, and he’s already shown every sign that he’s going to primary everybody that has not been supportive of him,” veteran Republican fundraiser Fred Zeidman told the NYT.

“He complicates everything so much.”

To be fair, GOP heads should have known what was in store, as it was just last month that Trump urged Republicans to “send your donation to Save America PAC,” and not to “RINOS” (Republicans in name only).

“After airing complaints about the election in his Easter message and at a recent wedding toast, [Trump] kept it up at a RNC donor dinner last night,” said CNN’s Jim Acosta.

“He called the results BS, slammed his own vice president for certifying them and said, this is a direct quote, ‘If that were [NY Senator Chuck] Schumer instead of that dumb son of a b*tch Mitch McConnell they would never have allowed it to happen.’”

“That is the former President of the United States. The comments, by the way, were met with applause. What a retreat, indeed,”

Again, no one should be surprised by any of this — and since Trump is still planning to run for president in 2024, it’s a safe bet that the worst is yet to come.

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