THINK your mobile phone is ruining your relationship? You might want to try sexting instead. Three out of four of us have sent or received explicit texts, with the vast majority swapped with a long-term partner.
And according to researchers, those people “showed significantly higher sexual satisfaction” than those who had never sexted at all. Here, Fabulous Daily’s Georgette Culley agrees sexting is an art form as she writes on how to add sexcitement . . . and offers some vital dos and don’ts.
SEXTING is the best modern-day foreplay and my secret weapon to keeping a relationship fresh.
To me, it’s an art form. Like Shakespeare, I pore over every word to try and woo my fancy. In most cases my sext sonnet is a success. But there have been times when my love story has ended in tragedy.
From accidentally cyberflashing my boss to sending a rude video to a family WhatsApp group, these are just a few of my blunders.
While mortifying at the time, they haven’t made me hang up my kinky boots yet, I love the thrill of it.
As the years rolled by I’d keep relationships exciting by adding a bit of raunch throughout the day.
And, with the advent of smartphones, my sexting skills went up a notch.
I no longer needed to rely on words — I could use a camera to show too.
Mind you, sometimes the camera is best avoided: “My new underwear is so hot, it’ll melt your phone,” I texted my love interest when I felt like he was going cold.
Do
- BE careful how you store your lover’s name in your phonebook – Dave is way too close to Dad and this could lead to embarrassing sexual slip-ups. Change your lover’s name to a safe letter.
- Use a password on your phone – you don’t want X-rated content getting into the wrong hands. Make your password so secure that even Alan Turing can’t crack it.
- Be wary of auto-corrects – check messages before you send. For instance autocorrect could change, “show me your bum” to “show me your mum”.
- Consider the background – a cluttered room or a toilet seat isn’t sexy. While your partner will pay more attention to your body, it’s still important to consider your surroundings.
- Answer promptly – if someone has bared all (literally) for you then don’t leave them hanging for a reply. They’ll start to over-analyse what they’ve sent, which could affect their confidence.
In reality, of course, I was sprawled out on the sofa, scoffing chocolate and wearing granny pants — but he didn’t need to know.
When done properly, sexting helps you express your inner fantasies and adds a little spice and adventure to your relationship.
When done wrong, it can lead to toe-curling trauma.
The WhatsApp blunder happened when I had two chats on the go — one with my then-boyfriend and a group chat with family. I got careless and accidentally sent the filthy video to the family group.
“Thank you for that,” my mum replied. “Just what every mother wants to see of her darling daughter.”
Another time, I texted my dad a message intended for a former boyfriend.
It read: “Can’t wait to see you later”, followed by a row of aubergine emojis. Desperate to save the situation, I texted, ‘Sorry dad I’m making moussaka with my boyfriend tonight and can’t wait to try the new dish’.
He replied: “I might be old but I wasn’t born yesterday. Did not want to know that.”
I even used to sext on work phones — and then when it came to leaving that job I’d have to pretend I’d lost the phone.
And, like most women, I used to put my face in all the pics. Nowadays revenge porn is a serious crime.
But in my early 20s it wasn’t and a few spurned ex-lovers threatened to send my saucy pics to my boss or online.
Now, aged 32, I remain an avid sexter.
Whether in a committed relationship or just out for fun, it’s a great foreplay tool.
Rather than being demeaning, women like me find sexual solace in knowing we can keep our man hot under the collar at the drop of a button.
Don't
- USE social media apps to take nudes – you may love the filters on Instagram or Snapchat but you could end up accidentally uploading the sexy snap to your followers.
- Have have several conversations going with other people while sexting – if replying to people on WhatsApp it’s easy to send a message to the wrong person.
- Include your face in pictures. You might think your partner is trustworthy but you never know what’s going to happen down the line.
- Sext at work – if you’re going to the toilet every five minutes to take a saucy snap your boss may start to think you’ve got some sort of health problem.
- Sext before you’ve had sex together – if you don’t want to give someone the wrong idea don’t bombard them with filthy messages if you’re not actually ready to do it. You’ll make it mega awkward and difficult for yourself when you next meet.
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