TRENDY grey kitchens as loved by Mrs Hinch are all the rage across Instagram and Facebook.
But they don’t necessarily come cheap – even if you are DIY-savvy like some Fabulous readers.
One mum who was desperate to update her drab 1990s’ kitchen but doesn’t have the cash or DIY knowledge to do it is Francesca* from the north-east of England.
So instead she’s taken a more unusual route to raise money and become a sexline worker.
Now she shares her story with Fabulous:
PICKING up the phone I put on my sexiest drawl.
“Hi, My name is Francesca* aka The Dirty Cow,” I said in my raunchiest voice. “I have brown hair and green eyes like a pussy cat. If you stroke me I might purr for you.”
And then, gulping back my nerves and taking a quick swig of tea, I continued: “Talk to me about anything and everything… hot, raunchy, sexy.
“Moments with me will be erotic. My p**** will be waiting for you.”
It was last Saturday and I was auditioning for a phone sex line. As a mum of one and dedicated wife to John*, who is in his 40s, I had never done anything like this before.
But I was desperate – absolutely itching – to refurbish my kitchen and I have been since 1997 when John and I bought our terraced home in the north-east of England.
And now, seeing trendy Mrs Hinch-style grey slate tops on Facebook groups, has made me want a total overhaul of my drab 1990s galley kitchen more than ever.
John just doesn’t understand – even though I nag daily. I’m desperate to whip up my favourite pork dinner in a fancy kitchen, not one which is tired, old looking and so small you couldn’t swing a cat in.
I really wanted to do something for myself and suddenly had a brainwave – I would join a sexline and chat my way to a new kitchen.
So after he had fobbed me off yet again I took drastic action.
“We can’t afford it – so pricey,” he said a few weeks ago when I ordered samples of what I wanted off a salesman.
To be fair they were expensive. The total cost equalled £35.5k. He kept manically plucking his brow, something he only does when nervous. “It’s so much,” he said, eventually agreeing to partially re-mortgage the house.
But I still knew it would take ages to save up enough to get my dream kitchen – and I wanted to raise money too but knew I couldn’t work. I am disabled with arthritis and even standing is painful.
I really wanted to do something for myself and suddenly had a brainwave – I would join a sexline and chat my way to a new kitchen.
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I Googled how to do it and you had to apply by voicemail, hence why I was stood in my kitchen giving it my all and leaving a sexy message to an answerphone.
Shortly afterwards a woman rang me back and confirmed I had passed what I dubbed the "sex test". She gave me a list of rules including to hang up if the men starting behaving in a way I found aggressive and I was issued with a pin number.
The next morning, when the family including my son, in his 20s, were out, I logged on. Shortly afterwards I received my first call.
“What are you wearing?” the man at the other end of the phone asked.
In my scruffy dressing gown with bedhead I looked like E.T.
'What are you wearing?' the man at the other end of the phone asked. In my scruffy dressing gown with bedhead I looked like E.T. but he didn’t know..
But he didn’t know..
“I’m in, er, silken pyjamas,” I said.
The Scottish bloke proceeded to tell me he was in the tub.
Another man asked me to whip him – but I didn’t have anything to hand so I just picked up a dirty dishcloth and slapped it down the phone while sipping on a cup of tea.
“What are you using,” he gasped breathlessly. “Oh a leather belt,” I told him. If the neighbours had seen it I would have looked mad.
But I felt so guilty, like I was cheating on John.
So that night I sat down and confessed everything.
“I’ve become a sex agent,” I said as he looked at me stunned.
He was mainly confused but accepted it and gave me advice on the sort of thing men might like to hear.
He said he would stay out the house or sit in our room with his headphones on when I was talking to them.
I’ve only done around five hours and so far have only made £50 so far but I’m determined to make the full amount – I want to show my husband I can.
Our son doesn’t know – he would be horrified if he knew his straight-laced mum had become a sex-line worker.
To be honest I find it all really embarrassing.
I don’t think I’m a natural but two men have already asked for my pin number again so they can call me back.
I told the first one it was my first time. “You’re doing a cracking job,” he said. “Ooh thanks,” I said. “My heart was going like the clappers.”
I’ve only done around five hours and so far have only made £50 so far but I’m determined to make the full amount – I want to show my husband I can.
It’s not easy though. The number of times you have to mention p**** is mad. I just want to watch EastEnders.
I just get through it by saying to myself "just think of the extension".
I’ll chat my way to the kitchen of my dreams if it’s the last thing I do.
In other news, we previously told you how Carla Bellucci spent £8,000 on herself for Christmas, and didn't get anything for her kids.
And she revealed that her kids take topless pics of her, just like Liz Hurley.
Plus Fabulous recently spent the day with Carla – and she scrounged designer shoes from a child.
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