“I was having a bit of a crisis,” fashion designer Mary Grant says on reflection of her life-changing 40th birthday.
12 years ago, she found herself in such a rut she didn’t see a way out. By her 40th birthday, Grant (52) found herself working full-time as a fashion designer and consultant, raising three children under five as a single parent. She was in the definition of a rut.
“I had been neglecting myself. As 40 was looming, I was feeling unattractive, uninspired and irrelevant. I hadn’t been evolving, I hadn’t been keeping in touch with who I was, what I loved, how I wanted to show up. I was living on automatic pilot,” she says.
“I hadn’t seen it coming, and I was feeling well and truly stuck.”
Her eponymous collection, celebrating its silver anniversary this year, has always been run from her home. When her children were small, it allowed her to be present when they needed her and now that they’re all nearly grown, it’s part of her at-home aesthetic.
This personal approach to dealing with customers allowed both parties to speak more freely and openly about their private lives.
“I have experience with customers over 25 years and the conversations we’ve shared about getting stuck in life was a common element. I could see first-hand how illness, loss and divorce shook their confidence and not knowing who they were,” she explains.
Mary, having already been through it herself, decided that she would apply that knowledge into her debut book Empowered By Style, a tome which aims to inspire women through their wardrobes and beyond.
“I never liked birthdays, but 40 was a turning point for me,” she says. “It was the measuring stick of what I had, what I achieved and I always found myself a bit lacking. I didn’t know who I was anymore or what I liked and wanted for me. I went into my wardrobe on day and began ruthlessly sorting out all of clothes, including a mixture from all my collections.”
That same no-nonsense approach to her clothes extended into her personal life and pretty soon, Mary found herself becoming something of a pseudo self-helper, abiding by principles which value happiness, self-sufficiency and support.
“I became more intentional about how I show myself. I had been doing it for awhile before I realised how much it was helping me. Twice a year, at the start of each season, I would completely gut my wardrobe and ask myself, ‘Does it work with what I have? Is it distracting me?’
“If the answer was no or yes, it was gone.”
She describes her work as a form of “wardrobe meditation” recognising the elements of which she can apply beyond the hanger.
“I would advise spending seven or eight hours over the course of a weekend and being ruthless in your assessment,” she explains. “This is about helping people get back in contact with themselves and the process helps that happen.
“Spend time on your own and understanding who you are why. Once you establish that, you’ll stay on track. I didn’t realise that for me, it was a form of therapy at the time.
“It’s what I did to get myself back on track. I found myself becoming much calmer in all aspects of my life and identifying things that were for me and things that weren’t.”
Recognising the fickle world of fashion, and the negative interpretations many have of an industry steeped in perceive frivolity, Mary believes in fashion in a deeper sense of the word: it represents how you see yourself and present yourself to the world.
This doesn’t mean you have to be dripping in designer outfits and donning high heels to the supermarket, but you should hold your head high in whatever you choose to wear, acknowledging that your clothing can be an extension of you – and embracing the power that comes with it.
For too long, fashion has been a means to discourage women from embracing their bodies and growing their confidence, and Mary aims to change that one customer – and now book – at a time.
“The fashion industry is quite shallow and I struggle with that myself, but it doesn’t have to be that way,” Mary says. “People put on clothes and people tell them what to wear, but when you’re really connected with yourself and intentional in what you wear.
“After that difficult process in my life, a much stronger person evolved who knew her own mind and knew what she wanted to achieve. It’s about getting in contact with yourself again.
“It doesn’t just apply to clothes: it extends to the people in your life, who is adding and taking away; what drains your energy. Ask yourself, ‘Who is the jungle juice in your life?’
Now that her children have flown the nest, Mary remains happily single and in a committed relationship with herself.
“At the moment, I choose to be single and it really suits me. Why would I want to change that?”
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