DEAR DEIDRE: I HAD wonderful sex with my best friend and it was so special to feel wanted after passionless years with my husband.
But now my pal has moved on, got a girlfriend and does not want to be with me.
We worked together in our first jobs when we were both 18. We became very close, shared lots of jokes and groans about the bosses, but we were never more than mates. I was already engaged to my now husband and my friend was in a relationship with the girl he would go on to marry.
It’s nine years on, and my marriage is dead on its feet. We have two children, a girl of five and a boy of three, but we have hardly had sex since our daughter was born. I just lost all interest. My husband, who is 29, joked that our son was a miracle birth and we have certainly not had sex since.
I know he works long hours but he shows no interest in our children, never comes on days out and never shows any warmth towards me. I might as well be a single parent, so it was great to hear from my old friend on Facebook.
He had got divorced and said he realised it was me he had loved all along. We met for drinks after I asked my mum to babysit and told my husband I was seeing an old girl friend.
Get in touch with Deidre today
Got a problem?
Send an email to [email protected]. Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.
Follow me on Twitter @deardeidre.
I fell hook, line and sinker and the next week he had booked a hotel room and we had sex.
Our affair continued but a couple of months later my friend said he didn’t want to break up my marriage and announced that he had got a girlfriend, a single woman he had met on an online dating site.
I feel so humiliated as well as broken-hearted, and even more unhappy in my marriage. Should I end things with my husband or stay?
DEIDRE SAYS: That was a very bruising experience. Your friend may not have planned to use you as an emotional and sexual sticking plaster, but that was the effect. You can make positive use of this if you see it as a wake-up call and sort your marriage one way or the other.
Maybe your husband is drained by those long hours he works, maybe his own father gave him no role model of an involved and loving dad, but tell him his children need his love and attention.
Look at how you can organise regular times for him to be a full-on dad, like taking them swimming or for a walk on Sunday mornings. On your part, offer to make a real effort to revive your sex life. My e-leaflet Reviving A Woman’s Sex Drive can help.
If all this fails, better end your marriage than let it drag miserably on. It is damaging for your children as well as wasting your life.
Source: Read Full Article