I married my husband because he’s dependable and now I’m bored to tears because he’s so dull – people say I should leave but others claim I ‘used’ him
- A British mother took to Mumsnet to discuss how she felt about her marriage
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A mother has sparked a debate after she called her husband ‘dull’ and admitted he is ‘boring her to tears’.
The woman took to the UK parenting forum, Mumsnet, to explain that she is ‘so fed up’ with her husband and her marriage because he’s boring and prefers to read the news or work, rather than have fun with his family.
She admitted that she married him because of his calm, grow-up nature, thinking a ‘dull, dependable’ man was the right kind of person to start a family with, rather than the bad boys she’d previously dated.
Now she feels like she’s the one who constantly has to bring the ‘magic’ and positivity to the relationship, while he’s always grumpy and serious.
Commenters were divided, with some advising her to leave and prioritise her happiness, while others said they felt sorry for her husband and that there’s a lot to be said for someone loyal who provides security.
The woman took to the British parenting forum Mumsnet to explain the problems she was facing with her husband (stock image)
She wrote: ‘I’m so fed up of dh (darling husband) and my marriage. No, I don’t want to divorce him.
‘He’s not a nasty person, he’s not done anything awful me. He’s not abusive. He hasn’t cheated, nor do I worry he will.
‘I wouldn’t say he’s a good father but I probably wouldn’t say he’s a BAD father either, I suppose. He’s a bare-minimum kind of father.’
The mother then went on to say that when she first met him, he was ‘chilled, calm and collected’, and admitted she was used to dating ‘exciting, sexy, dangerous, fun, men who were also a******** and treated me like s***.’
She then went on to say they were ‘opposites’ and that she feels like she contributes a lot to his life, but he doesn’t contribute a lot to her life or their children’s lives.
The anonymous woman wrote: ‘I digress. What I’m saying is… I’m finding life with him painfully boring. He’s such a grump 100% of the time. Always scowling. Never fun. Never jokes with us. Never plays with the kids. Never seems to really enjoy them.
‘He was very into football and Lego as a kid, and we have two boys and they would love to play football with him in garden but he’s always got an excuse. Never wants to build Lego with them. He’d rather just sit about reading the news, or work. He loves his work.’
The British mother took to Mumsnet to explain the issues she was having with her husband and asked users if she was being unreasonable
She then asked on the forum whether this was normal and if ‘all men were like this’, before asking if she had ‘unrealistic expectations.’
Others took to the comments to debate the mother’s behaviour and how she felt, with some sympathising and others disagreeing with her decision.
One user wrote: ‘You married him because he made life comfortable for you. Now you don’t want to be with him because those traits as a father and life partner make him boring.
‘What you are looking for in the father of your children and in a life partner has changed. He hasn’t. If you’re happy, leave.’
Another commented: ‘You don’t sound compatible. He hasn’t changed during this relationship, he’s doing the same thing that you once saw in a positive light. You can’t make him change into a person he’s not and never has been.’
A third person penned: ‘I don’t think it’s fair to say he adds nothing to your life. He brings stability, loyalty, security. He may be boring but having a parent who keeps you safe is something not all kids have.’
A fourth said: ‘I was in a relationship with someone like this, he used to just suck the joy out of everything.’
But others thought the woman was being unreasonable and even accused her of using her husband.
One user wrote: ‘I feel sorry for him, you knew what he was like, settled for that, to be honest sounds like you used him.
‘Now you’re bored with that, you want more.’
Another penned: ‘Oh, I’m going to make personal history right here and say: poor man!
But others disagreed with the anonymous mother and said they felt sorry for her husband because she ‘used him’
‘He sounds lovely to me, but also ‘boring’ by your standards (not to be rude but you don’t sound like what I’d call ‘fun’).
‘Maybe let him go, so he can find someone who loves and appreciates him – plenty of women would.’
A third said: ‘I feel a bit sorry for him. You’ve married him but now resent him for his natural personality. You don’t marry someone expecting them to change, you choose someone who is a good fit from the off.’
A fourth commented: ‘It doesn’t sound like either of you like each other very much. I’m not sure there’s any coming back from that to be honest.’
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