I'm giving my neighbour oral sex but he refuses to go all the way

DEAR DEIDRE:  I AM doing sexual favours for my neighbour and he loves it – but he says we can’t go all the way because he’s religious.

It’s so frustrating.

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I’m a divorcee of 45 and he’s 39. He’s not my usual type and I never gave him a second look before.

But during the first lockdown he’d bring his guitar out after clapping for the NHS and we’d all have a sing-along.

My other neighbour told me he was a really nice guy and she said I should talk to him.

One evening when lockdown was over and he was walking past my house, I asked him to check if I had mice in my attic.

He was happy to come over and when he was up the ladder, I remarked at how nice the view was — of his bum.

He looked startled but texted me later that evening to tell me I was “such a temptation” — though we couldn’t start a relationship, as he is religious and is meant to be getting engaged to a girl in Italy.

Because of the pandemic, they’d only met online and he was waiting for travel restrictions to lift.

He didn’t want to “cheat on her”, although they’d never met for real.

I called him later and we were flirting on the phone. I mentioned that an ex of mine had left behind some tools he could have.

He was on the doorstep within minutes. He came in, we kissed and I gave him oral sex, which he said was the best he’d ever had.

We’ve done that a few times since and he loves it, but he won’t go all the way with me.

It is so annoying. I can see the effect I have on him, as he gets aroused whenever I’m around.

I can tell how desperate he is for me but he won’t give in.

I really want him. I think we’d be good together.

He texts me, is flirty and sometimes sends me explicit photographs. How faithful is that?


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DEIDRE SAYS: Not very, in my view. But maybe he thinks he counts as faithful as long as he doesn’t actually have full sex.

But why even get into thinking about where he draws the line?

You said yourself he is not the sort of person you would normally find attractive.

Is it more about you enjoying the thrill of the chase because he seems a bit innocent and you have something to prove to yourself?

I doubt you would be good together if he is committed to a faith that is very different from your views.

Stop all the flirting and swapping photos. Tell this guy to be properly faithful to his fiancée while you look elsewhere for a partner who will give you 100 per cent.

Apart from other issues, oral sex risks transmitting coronavirus and sexual infections.

My e-leaflet Love Or Lust? can help you think this through fully.

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