Mum stormed out of wedding over seating plan row and we are not on speaking terms

DEAR DEIDRE: MY MUM stormed out of our wedding reception because she didn’t like where she was on the seating plan.

Now she’s picking on my daughter.


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I am a woman of 48. I have two brothers and we get on OK but over the years Mum has caused rows between us by telling us all different negative stories about each other or our partners.

Now she’s started on my daughter. Mum fell out with my daughter at her baby’s christening because she didn’t get on with her partner’s grandmother.

I told Mum she was being ill-mannered and she’s not spoken to either of us for six months.

My brothers haven’t spoken to me either, saying I upset Mum – so they have heard her version of events.

I’m used to her ways but she has never been this way with her granddaughter before.

It has been tough enough for me over the years but I don’t want my daughter or grandchild to be part of it all.

DEIDRE SAYS: She is your mother, so you have suffered the effects of her attention-seeking behaviour throughout your whole life.

It is natural to want to protect your daughter and granddaughter from similar distress but they won’t ever be as affected as you are, of course, because they are generations apart.

You can make sure history doesn’t repeat itself through how you react.

That will have far more influence on your daughter than anything your mother does.

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