RICHARD LITTLEJOHN on Boris Johnson's coronavirus epidemic response

We shall fight them in the supermarkets (if we’re not self-isolating): RICHARD LITTLEJOHN on Boris Johnson’s response to Britain’s coronavirus epidemic

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This is what it must have been like in 1940. Europe has fallen, the United States has gone into isolation and Britain stands alone.

Italy is in lockdown and troops are on the streets. Austria, Slovenia and the Czech Republic have closed their borders. 

Across the Continent, schools, shops, offices, factories and restaurants have closed; sporting fixtures have either been postponed or are being played behind closed doors.

Irish Premier Lenny Verruca (is he still there?) has announced that outdoor gatherings of more than 500 people have been banned. President Donald Trump has grounded all flights between America and mainland Europe.

This is what it must have been like in 1940. Europe has fallen, the United States has gone into isolation and Britain stands alone

On the home front, people are becoming increasingly nervous. Yet the message from Downing Street last night was one of defiance. Here in Britain, it’s business as usual.

Up to a point.

When Trump ordered the killing of a top Iranian general in January, we were warned that the world was on the brink of its biggest conflict since 1945.

At the time, I worried that Boris Johnson would channel his inner Churchill complex, turn up in a siren suit and homburg, puffing a large cigar, and start pushing tanks round a sandpit in the Cabinet War Rooms.

More from Richard Littlejohn for the Daily Mail…

Wisely, he resisted the temptation. Now we know he was saving himself for The Big One. After yesterday’s Cobra meeting, Boris felt emboldened to lift his ban on the BBC and agree to an interview with Newsnight’s Emily Maitlis, fresh from her evisceration of Prince Andrew . . .

Prime Minister, we have come to Downing Street in highly unusual circumstances. Why have you chosen to speak to me tonight?

From Stettin in the Baltic to Trieste in the Adriatic, and from Milan in Northern Italy to Dublin in the West, a deadly curtain of coronavirus has descended across the Continent.

And yet, while our European neighbours and allies take drastic measures to stop the spread of this virus, the British Government’s response smacks of complacency. You appear to have no coherent policy.

What is our policy? To wage war against a monstrous global pandemic, never surpassed in the dark, lamentable catalogue of plague and pestilence.

Yes, but I repeat, you are still refusing to countenance the emergency precautions being taken in Europe. What is your aim?

What is our aim? Victory, victory at all costs, victory in spite of all terror; victory however long and hard the road may be; for without victory, there is no survival.

I’m glad you mentioned survival, Prime Minister. The number of people in Britain who have contracted the virus could be as high as 10,000. Ten people have lost their lives. You’ve got one minister self-isolating and another being tested for coronavirus. What reassurance can you offer that everything which can be done is being done?

I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat . . .

And that’s it?

Even though large tracts of Europe and many old and famous states have fallen into the grip of coronavirus, we shall not flag or fail. We shall go on to the end. We shall fight on the buses and on the Underground and in the supermarkets . . .

Does that mean you’re going to send in the troops to shoot looters stripping the shelves of toilet rolls, hand sanitiser and pasta?

While our European neighbours and allies take drastic measures to stop the spread of this virus, the British Government’s response smacks of complacency. You appear to have no coherent policy.

We shall fight with growing confidence and growing strength in the air . . .

At this rate, there won’t be anything in the air. America has already grounded all flights from mainland Europe. 

It surely can’t be long before Britain is added to the no-fly list, especially as your Government refuses to contain the spread of the virus. How do you think President Trump is going to react?

The Prime Minister has nothing to hide from the President of the United States, but I cannot forecast to you the actions of President Trump. He is a riddle wrapped in a mystery inside an enigma. We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be.

Whatever the cost? This week the Chancellor tore up the fiscal rules and announced plans to splurge £30 billion as part of a coronavirus rescue package. It’s the biggest government spending spree since 1992. Where is that money coming from?

Never in the field of human conflict was so much owed by so many to so few.

This week the Chancellor tore up the fiscal rules and announced plans to splurge £30 billion as part of a coronavirus rescue package

So you admit borrowing is out of control?

Give us the tools and we will do the job.

What’s that supposed to mean? You won’t even use the tools available to you. The schools are still open, tens of thousands of people are at Cheltenham racecourse, football matches are going ahead as usual. How do you propose to stop the spread of coronavirus? What if self-isolation doesn’t work?

I would find it necessary to take measures of increasing stringency, not only against enemy aliens and suspicious characters of other nationalities, but also against British subjects who may become infected.

But that would be a clear breach of the Human Rights Act.

We shall never surrender.

That’s all very well for you to say, Prime Minister, but people are genuinely worried. The markets are crashing, companies are going to the wall, holidays are being cancelled, local elections are being postponed. How long is this crisis going to last?

This is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.

And your former Conservative colleague Rory Stewart has accused you of ‘smug, insular complacency’ and says unless you act soon there will be 100,000 people infected within the next three weeks

Mr Corbyn calls you a part-time Prime Minister.

A sheep in sheep’s clothing.

And your former Conservative colleague Rory Stewart has accused you of ‘smug, insular complacency’ and says unless you act soon there will be 100,000 people infected within the next three weeks.

I can only deal with one s**t at a time.

Mr Churchill, er, I mean, Mr Johnson, when are you going to resign?

I do not suffer from any desire to be relieved of my responsibilities.

So you really believe you are doing a good job?

No one can guarantee success, but only deserve it. If the British Commonwealth lasts for a thousand years, men will still say: ‘This was their finest hour . . .’

Prime Minister, while I’ve got you here, who did pay for your Christmas holiday and just how many children do you have . . .

What’s that V-sign supposed to mean?

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