‘Sex-crazed sis wants me at racy Xmas do – she’s lined up lover and strip poker’

I’m dreading the festive party my outrageous sister is throwing – and I’ve been ordered to attend.

She keeps sending messages hinting that we’ll be playing strip poker and “throwing the keys in the bowl” at her bash. She has a wonderful lover all lined up for me. She says he’s hot, horny and rich. Great.

I’ve managed to avoid her for the whole year, but now she’s ­insisting I rock up. She’s complaining that we don’t see enough of each other and thinks we should start going out for bottomless prosecco lunches in the New Year too.

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Everything she suggests is my idea of absolute hell. She is much older than me and has a new toyboy lover. She virtually raised me after our mother left home when I was 10. She saved me from the streets, but we have nothing in common and she embarrasses me.

In short, she’s everything I’m not – she’s loud, sex mad and inappropriate. From her brash clothes and stupid opinions to her loose morals and questionable friends, she’s a joke.

She proudly boasts that she’s had more lovers than hot baths. She loves threesomes, orgies and swinging parties too – and I struggle to respect her hedonistic approach to life.

How do I get out of this ordeal when she’s wealthy after an advantageous divorce and always bungs me a very generous sum on my July birthday each year? Without her dosh I’d struggle to get by.

JANE SAYS: If attending the party is the price you pay for a large cash donation in the middle of the year, it sounds as if your sister has got you by the short and curlies.

She is a larger-than-life personality and I doubt you’re going to tame her. You may not like her methods or her taste in blokes, but you can’t accuse her of letting the grass grow underneath her feet.

Ultimately, you need to weigh up your options. If spending one evening with her will result in you receiving your annual birthday bung, then maybe you’ll just have to suck it up.

No one says that you have to drink too much or go crazy. Can’t you pretend to have fun if it’ll make her happy? It’s completely up to you, but if your financial situation hinges on you playing her game, then she who pays the piper calls the tune.

I urge you to get in touch and tell her that you’re not interested in the guy she has lined up for you or playing any of her sexy games. Make it clear that you don’t judge or discriminate but you won’t be joining in.

As for meeting up over the next year, just keep calm and see what develops. Never forget what she sacrificed for you as a younger woman. Maybe she will slow down in time, but for the moment she’s still very much alive and kicking.

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