DEAR DEIDRE: I HAVE been seeing a man on and off, but every time we have sex he becomes distant with me . . . until the next time.
I am a single mum of 31, with a five-year-old daughter.
I work part-time in a shop and he used to come in every day. Then he asked me out.
We had a lovely evening together that night. He is 37 and I loved the attention.
We had sex and it was great but he was very distant when he swung by the shop the following day.
I was confused and upset but he started paying me attention again and I fell for it.
This time he seemed really into me and I thought he liked me but then the same thing happened again.
He carried on blowing hot and cold, so I told him I wanted more than sex. But he then said he doesn’t want a relationship.
I realised I am lonely and had invented a closeness that is not real – that when we are not together, I don’t exist for him.
He never asks how I am and never shows any concern for me or my life.
A couple of days ago I got very drunk and texted him, telling him what I thought of him, good and bad.
Now I feel ashamed and embarrassed.
DEIDRE SAYS: I am not sure whether he is cynically using you or is terrified of intimacy and commitment.
But either way, he is not going to give you the relationship you long for.
You have no need to feel ashamed or embarrassed but tell him you are clearly looking for different things, so you are not going to see him again.
If it helps your resolve, block him on your phone.
That will free you up to meet someone who will love you and treat you well.
My e-leaflet Finding The Right Partner For You can help.
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