The people of England are in a state of mourning today.
But this time, their grief has nothing to do with Covid variants, or their Muppet-resembling prime minister, or the fact that even in mid-July, their weather sucks out loud.
No, today’s misery is all about England’s loss in the Euro Cup Finals to the superior squad from Italy.
It’s not exactly the sort of national crisis that’ll wind up in the history books, but even so, it’s turned out to be an early test of leadership for the future king and queen consort.
Yes, Prince William and Kate Middleton were everywhere over the weekend, and the entire world looked on as the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge endured an emotional roller coaster presented by their commonwealth’s greatest athletes.
The weekend got off to a good start for Kate as she watched Australian Ashleigh Barty take home the top prize at Wimbledon.
Kate probably would’ve preferred that a Brit had won the tournament, but at least the Aussies are still under the dominion of her increasingly obsolete in-laws.
“What an incredible match and performance by both athletes! Congratulations @ashbarty on being crowned #Wimbledon champion,” the Will and Kate Twitter account posted on Saturday,.
“It was amazing to see the atmosphere and support from the fans echoing through centre court once again,” whoever runs the account added.
“Well done to @Wimbledon and the staff on continuing to make the Championships such a special event.”
Unfortunately for Kate and her loyal subjects, it was all downhill from there.
In fact, it you’re a Brit, you may want to stop reading here.
There was a time when your country reigned supreme over a bunch of pesky little colonies that coughed up taxes and valuable raw materials on the reg.
And it wasn’t all that long ago that you blokes were kicking Italian ass and taking fascist names in dubya-dubya two.
But those glory days were long ago, and despite a promising start to the tournament, “it” won’t be coming home this year.
But hey — let’s look on the bright side.
Members of your royal family came out to hobnob with the peasants, and even though they dressed Prince George like a doorman at a luxury hotel, it shows that they care about some of the same stuff as the plebes.
And that’s especially big deal this week, as it was only a few days ago that Duchess Kate was in self-isolation after being exposed to Covid.
“Last week, The Duchess of Cambridge came into contact with someone who has subsequently tested positive for COVID-19,” a statement from Buckingham Palace read.
“Her Royal Highness is not experiencing any symptoms, but is following all relevant government guidelines and is self-isolating at home.”
So, yeah — it was a tough weekend for fans of the footie, but you Brits still have plenty to be optimistic about.
And besides, it’s a miracle these events even happened this year, what with everything that’s going on in the world.
In a few weeks, the Olympics will start, Covid numbers will spike again, and no one will even remember who won some lame little tournament!
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