Uber Eats' New Report Confirms Humans Are in Fact, Complete Weirdos

Uber Eats released its Cravings Report, and it’s truly something else, you guys. The Cravings Report isn’t a ranking of the most popular restaurants or most-delivered items over the past year. No, it’s basically confirmation that we’re all a bunch of weirdos who have some very specific, slightly bizarre, yet hilarious Uber requests.

The report includes everything from strange delivery requests to the most popular delivery requests, including the most popular and unexpected food and request combos, in the U.S. The best request we pulled from the report? Asking delivery partners to sing the chorus of “Africa” by Toto.

“This is my boyfriend’s Valentine’s gift. It would be amazing if you could play ‘Africa’ by Toto when you deliver the donuts. You don’t have to play the whole thing, really just the chorus,” one Uber Eats user wrote.

Another customer offered up a $20 tip for a “spicy as shit” dish.

WE LIKE OUR FOOD EXTREMELY SPICY,” the Uber Eats user wrote. “Got a $20 dollar tip for everyone if you make the spaghetti and lasagna spicy as SHIT and say it when you deliver the food. You know, so I know it’s real thanks guys.”

One glance at the Cravings Report’s over-the-top sauce requests made us feel less alone in our affinity for extra condiments and dips, too — from “this is unique but I like to dip my sandwiches very heavily in ranch and honey mustard. Very very very heavily!! I just live for sauce, I hate dry food! Can I please have six dipping sides of ranch and six dipping sides of honey mustard each for my sandwich?” to “please also send 13 containers of ranch dressing.”

Some Uber Eats users clearly have a future in creative writing, too. Just take a peek at this customer’s way with words: “Can I add banana peppers? If so, that would make the stars in my galaxy of hunger cordially align ever so preciously and they would whisper through time and space.”

Some decided to use the notes field to write a novel, detailing their ability to “change for the better” upon discovering acai bowls.

“People can change for the better, you know. Case in point: when I first moved to SF, years ago, my then-girlfriend and her hippie parents tried to introduce me to this wonderful West Coast craze called “acai bowls.” I thought they all were crazy and then blamed the acai for “a very long bathroom break” that followed. They laughed, good-naturedly I’m sure, at the stupid (but well-intentioned) boy from Philadelphia. Funny how times change and everything comes around. Now that ex-girlfriend lives in Philadelphia with a truly stupid boy, I’m sure, and me, Instead of dating, I just need acai bowls to be happy. Is that what Alanis Morissette meant by ironic?”

While others… well, others were much more to-the-point — and aggressive with their use of the caps lock button: “Extra NOODLES EXTRA NOODLES Extra NOODLES extra NOODLES Extra NOODLES EXTRA NOODLES.”

Uber Eats Cravings Report’s most unexpected food and request combos were equally as amusing, but stomach churning. The strangest combos include ordering a shake with a side of ranch, pizza with nuts, apples with a side of mustard and tilapia with cheese.

Take a look at the rest of the report below.

The most popular delivery requests in the U.S.

The most popular food and request combos

The most unexpected food and request combos

Delivery requests by the day

  • Mondays: Eaters crave ketchup and extra mayo.
  • Tuesdays: A spike in requests for sweet and sour sauce.
  • Wednesdays: Extra rice and extra onions.
  • Thursdays: No onions, but extra bbq sauce, please.
  • Fridays: A spike in requests for both “extra cheese” and “no cheese.” 
  • Saturdays: Extra spicy and “fun” sauces, like honey mustard and ranch.
  • Sundays: No tomatoes and put the dressing on the side; also, teriyaki sauce.

We’ll also take 13 sides of fun ranch; kthnx.

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