I can only climax during sex with my girlfriend if I think about other women

DEAR DEIDRE:  I THINK about other women when I’m having sex with my girlfriend. It’s the only way I can climax.

I’m not sexually attracted to my girlfriend like I used to be. And I am struggling to maintain an erection with her.

It’s embarrassing and it seems stupid because she’s gorgeous.

I’m 26 and my girlfriend is 24. We’ve been together for six years.

I keep fantasising about having sex with other women – people from work or my girlfriend’s friends.

When I’m on a night out with my colleagues, some are very flirtatious.

After a few drinks there’s a sexual tension with one woman in particular. There’s something about her that instantly turns me on.

I know it’s wrong, as I don’t want to hurt my girlfriend. I value our relationship but I fear that one day I’ll give in to temptation.

Every encounter with other women makes me weaker and weaker. I feel trapped.

Get in touch with Deidre today

My team and I are working safely from home but we are here to help you as always.

Send an email to problems@deardeidre.org.

Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.

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DEIDRE SAYS: You were young when your relationship started and both of you will have changed hugely since then.

If you still feel that in all the other ways your girlfriend is the one for you, my e-leaflet on Saving Your Sex Life explains self-help sex therapy.

If it is only habit keeping you together, rather than cheat be honest with her that she has been a wonderful part of your life story but for you, at least, your relationship has run its course.

NEXT IN TODAY'S DEAR DEIDRE My fiancé has erection problems so now I've started to satisfy myself sexually

READ DEIDRE'S PHOTO CASEBOOK Miranda feels trapped by husband Len and his strict coronavirus rules

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