Your texting style might be killing off potential love interests

Keep them hooked with the right text.

Most of us have heard about love languages by now – the concept that people show and feel love in different ways, and understanding your partner’s love language can make it easier to connect.

Well, the same goes for texting.

In our modern age, we shouldn’t shrug or laugh off the idea that a simple text can deter or attract someone. When dating apps are the primary way of meeting people, how you speak virtually matters and can inform someone’s opinion of you.

According to dating app Badoo, starting up a conversation is one of the most nerve-wracking things about making a new connection, as a third of those they surveyed struggle with this.

More than a third also overthink the content of their messages and worry that a delayed response means the person doesn’t like them.

And more than a quarter worry they’re messaging too much or replying too quickly.

This anxiety causes singles to over analyse the meaning behind someone’s ‘messaging style’, which has led to 60% of people doubting or even ending a chat with someone.

Texting love languages

  • Texts of Affirmation – Text me all day: This person loves to message all-day, everyday 
  • Quality Texter – I need all the detail: This person is all about detailed, thought-through messages
  • Receiving GIFs – Emojis over essays: This person will likely only send an emoji or a reaction, but it doesn’t mean they don’t like you!
  • Texts of Service – Let’s make plans: This person messages for practical reasons only, for example to arrange a date 
  • Light-touch – I’d rather chat IRL: This person isn’t great with messaging, and prefers to communicate IRL 

Relationship expert and TV sex therapist, Charlene Douglas, says you should set your ‘textpectations’.

‘It’s important to get to know someone’s messaging style before interpreting a delayed reply, lack of response or excited reply as a sign that they’re either not interested in you, or a bit “too much”,’ she says.

‘I know it’s easier said than done, so I’d always recommend discussing your “textpectations” with a new connection, and to understand theirs, as you could miss out on forming a relationship with a fantastic person due to a simple misunderstanding.’

People have a variety of different expectations when it comes to messaging.

39% say their go-to style is to send multiple, short messages, while 25% prefer emojis and reactions.

70% of singles agree that mismatched messaging styles can have a negative impact on a potential connection, and a similar number say they’d find it helpful to know the texting style of the person they’re dating.

Are your emojis putting off a detailed texter?

Do you have a story to share?

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